A bit of a preface before this, if you will. I'm thinking of doing the blog like this. A few structured articles here and there, like this Professor Layton review (a direct copy of my school newspaper article), with the rapidly occurring random thoughts posts.
So there, I've made my decision. I'll try to post semi-regularly, but we all know that doesn't happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The task is simple. You have three wolves and three chickens on one side of a river. You must use a raft to ferry them across. However, only two animals are allowed on the raft at one time and at least one animal has to be on the raft for it to move. Also, if the wolves outnumber the chickens on either side, the chickens will be eaten. The task is not as simple as it might seem.
If that previous paragraph sounds appealing, than Nintendo’s latest DS game, Professor Layton and the Curious Village, is the game for you. Professor Layton is, quite simply, a puzzle game tour de force. In it, you control the British top-hat-wearing Professor Layton and his apprentice Luke as they journey to the village of St. Mystere and tackle the mysteries surrounding the death of the famous Baron Reinhold. The game has very artful graphics that are in the similar style to famous European animation such as The Triplets of Belleville and Tin Tin. It’s gameplay echoes a fine blend of the illustrious brain training games on DS such as Brain Age and Big Brain Academy and adventure point-and-click games such as Myst and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. That means, more or less, that this game includes a lot of exploration with a smattering of puzzles.
And these puzzles are really hard. They vary from a bevy of puzzle genres, most of which you may have heard of because they are created by famed Japanese puzzle guru, Akira Tago who is a professor at Chiba University. The game begins with simple yet tricky puzzles that ease you in and then slowly shed the facade with puzzles that will leave you frustrated and trying all kinds of answers for long stretches of time. This might sound bad, but it is not. Never have I played a video game that has challenged my mind as much as this game. It deserves a spot in the growing number of elite Nintendo DS games.
Besides the difficulty, the only negative thing I can say about this game is that it ends, although there are 150 puzzles to play before the game is officially completed. Then again, Nintendo has promised weekly downloadable puzzles using their burgeoning Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection. While I have not connected my DS to the internet to download the puzzles, I have heard that they are mighty challenging and have probably driven grown men to tears because of their sheer difficulty. Even better news for fans of this game is that there are still two more games to come out. The series is very popular in Japan and they have already seen the release of a sequel (Professor Layton and Pandora’s Box) and the announcement of a final game in the trilogy (Professor Layton and the Time Traveler).
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The Recurring Sakurai
I figure I'll keep up with the random musings until I decide what to do with writing in this blog. I might try to do focused articles or keep this up.
~~~
West Virginia is not a real state. It is a vortex where people think they are in West Virginia, but they are really in Alabama.
~~~~
Professor Layton is truly like crack. I am in love with everything about this game and I've had fucked up puzzle dreams to prove it.
Coincidentally, these dreams are separate from the infamous dream I had last week where I dreamt that I was sick and went to my 11 AM class...and then realized I was still sleeping and woke up...and then didn't go to 11 AM class because I thought I already went. I was also very delirious and sick. (see two posts ago when I said I was 'sick and at work').
Anyway, Layton rocks the house and I just witnessed the most balls to the wall cut scene in a DS game since anything from Contra IV. It involves a top-hat-wearing professor, his apprentice, what appears to be a pier and a ferris wheel.
If you have a DS, buy this game.
If you don't have a DS, buy a DS and this game.
~~~~~
Masahiro Sakurai has now become my favorite living video game developer. He sits at that throne just on top of Miyamoto (Mario, Zelda, Nintendo), Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear Series) and the dude who made Rez. Naturally, my favorite video game developer is Gunpei Yokoi, but he died in a car accident, so what the fuck, world? The poor man was hit by a car shortly after he was let go by Nintendo because of Virtual Boy. It would have been so pimp if they had some big reunion and then he made Ultra Metroid or something with a better title and then we could all sing and dance and not have any more war.
~~~~~~
So anyway, I've been digging Sakurai lately mainly because of his work on Brawl and the Dojo blog. He also created Kirby at the age of 19, which is really an inspiring feat, or would be if I wasn't turning 20 in 3 weeks. So now I'm in the 'usually eschewed by sports players' feeling of failure because I haven't made my Kirby yet...
*sigh*
I think I'm going to play more of Kirby 64 when I get back to my room...
~~~~~~~
Fuck the naysayers cuz they don't mean a thing!
Kirby 64 is surprisingly good. I remember playing it a long time ago and been a little underwhelmed...not sure why. It is definitely not as deep as Kirby Superstar, but it has its own charm that makes it better than your average game. What can I say, Kirby's adorable. You can't tell me you don't smile when he does his cute lil arm wave and says 'HIIIIIIII!' in Smash Bros.
~~~~~~~~~
Sakurai also was a part of the team that made Adventures of Lolo, which is probably the Professor Layton of the NES.
~~~~~~~~~~
What the fuck happened to Jake Plummer? I know he's retired, but for fuck's sake. He grows one playoff beard and goes off the deep end.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I think if I invite mc chris to one more Facebook event of group, he'll actually go....either that or he'll defriend me...
Also, does anyone remember how fucking awesome Adult Swim was back in the day? Old Sea Lab, ATHF and Brak Show are sadly unmatched these days. Venture Bros is the only show that hearkens back to that era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder what games Sakurai will make after Brawl?
I think he's done with Nintendo and he's going to work with his new company, Sora. I very much anticipate his next venture.
Just like I anticipate the next Professor Layton game as I'm closing in on the end of the first one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I mentioned my favorite game developers (referring to singular people), and now I feel like mentioning my favorite development companies. Nintendo, HAL Labs, Intelligent Systems, Game Freak, Tecmo (circa Ninja Gaiden I,II and III and Tecmo Super Bowl), Silicon Knights (except Dyack is kind of a cocky prick), Harmonix, Square (circa FFVI, SMRPG and Chrono Trigger), Sonic Team (before whatever point they went insane), Next Level Games and Level 5.
~~~
West Virginia is not a real state. It is a vortex where people think they are in West Virginia, but they are really in Alabama.
~~~~
Professor Layton is truly like crack. I am in love with everything about this game and I've had fucked up puzzle dreams to prove it.
Coincidentally, these dreams are separate from the infamous dream I had last week where I dreamt that I was sick and went to my 11 AM class...and then realized I was still sleeping and woke up...and then didn't go to 11 AM class because I thought I already went. I was also very delirious and sick. (see two posts ago when I said I was 'sick and at work').
Anyway, Layton rocks the house and I just witnessed the most balls to the wall cut scene in a DS game since anything from Contra IV. It involves a top-hat-wearing professor, his apprentice, what appears to be a pier and a ferris wheel.
If you have a DS, buy this game.
If you don't have a DS, buy a DS and this game.
~~~~~
Masahiro Sakurai has now become my favorite living video game developer. He sits at that throne just on top of Miyamoto (Mario, Zelda, Nintendo), Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear Series) and the dude who made Rez. Naturally, my favorite video game developer is Gunpei Yokoi, but he died in a car accident, so what the fuck, world? The poor man was hit by a car shortly after he was let go by Nintendo because of Virtual Boy. It would have been so pimp if they had some big reunion and then he made Ultra Metroid or something with a better title and then we could all sing and dance and not have any more war.
~~~~~~
So anyway, I've been digging Sakurai lately mainly because of his work on Brawl and the Dojo blog. He also created Kirby at the age of 19, which is really an inspiring feat, or would be if I wasn't turning 20 in 3 weeks. So now I'm in the 'usually eschewed by sports players' feeling of failure because I haven't made my Kirby yet...
*sigh*
I think I'm going to play more of Kirby 64 when I get back to my room...
~~~~~~~
Fuck the naysayers cuz they don't mean a thing!
Kirby 64 is surprisingly good. I remember playing it a long time ago and been a little underwhelmed...not sure why. It is definitely not as deep as Kirby Superstar, but it has its own charm that makes it better than your average game. What can I say, Kirby's adorable. You can't tell me you don't smile when he does his cute lil arm wave and says 'HIIIIIIII!' in Smash Bros.
~~~~~~~~~
Sakurai also was a part of the team that made Adventures of Lolo, which is probably the Professor Layton of the NES.
~~~~~~~~~~
What the fuck happened to Jake Plummer? I know he's retired, but for fuck's sake. He grows one playoff beard and goes off the deep end.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I think if I invite mc chris to one more Facebook event of group, he'll actually go....either that or he'll defriend me...
Also, does anyone remember how fucking awesome Adult Swim was back in the day? Old Sea Lab, ATHF and Brak Show are sadly unmatched these days. Venture Bros is the only show that hearkens back to that era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder what games Sakurai will make after Brawl?
I think he's done with Nintendo and he's going to work with his new company, Sora. I very much anticipate his next venture.
Just like I anticipate the next Professor Layton game as I'm closing in on the end of the first one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I mentioned my favorite game developers (referring to singular people), and now I feel like mentioning my favorite development companies. Nintendo, HAL Labs, Intelligent Systems, Game Freak, Tecmo (circa Ninja Gaiden I,II and III and Tecmo Super Bowl), Silicon Knights (except Dyack is kind of a cocky prick), Harmonix, Square (circa FFVI, SMRPG and Chrono Trigger), Sonic Team (before whatever point they went insane), Next Level Games and Level 5.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Brief Note to Superbad's Naysayers
My dear friend Billy finally saw Superbad and we discussed it. What transpires next is an elaboration on what I said to him.
If you didn't enjoy Superbad than I guess you just didn't get the aesthetic of the humor. Don't give me that hoity-toighty bullshit "Well, I completly understood it" because you obviously didn't if you didn't find it funny. You can demerit the movie however you want because, honestly, it is not a great movie. It just does what it's meant to do and executes it perfectly. It doesn't try to be something that it is not.
To me, the funniest part of the movie is the name. That's because they're not fucking Superbad but they think they are and that makes them every high school kid ever! It is a stupid dumb movie, but thats why it works so well. It is very relatable. I guess if I had to sum it up, I'd dub it the antithesis to every John Hughes film ever. I mean, there are far better films in the world but for that movie was, it was perfect it tried to be nothing but itself
hioo1: gold slick!
If you didn't enjoy Superbad than I guess you just didn't get the aesthetic of the humor. Don't give me that hoity-toighty bullshit "Well, I completly understood it" because you obviously didn't if you didn't find it funny. You can demerit the movie however you want because, honestly, it is not a great movie. It just does what it's meant to do and executes it perfectly. It doesn't try to be something that it is not.
To me, the funniest part of the movie is the name. That's because they're not fucking Superbad but they think they are and that makes them every high school kid ever! It is a stupid dumb movie, but thats why it works so well. It is very relatable. I guess if I had to sum it up, I'd dub it the antithesis to every John Hughes film ever. I mean, there are far better films in the world but for that movie was, it was perfect it tried to be nothing but itself
hioo1: gold slick!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Being sick at work sucks donkey dick. Which, coincidentally is a possible way of how I have this killer sore throat right now.
Or it could be from the cold and wind going down my throat and my immune system finally wearing down after a season of fighting the wintery weather hardcore for a week and then being like 'eh, too many layers' and sending myself out onto the frozen tundra of William Paterson with nothing but pants, shoes and a jacket.
If there is anything illegible in this post, I blame Wayne Hall, for all I've eaten has been at that grimy place of food stuffs.
~~
You wonderful readers witnessed history the other day. My Y: The Last Man and Barkley posts were restructured into semi-legitimate newspaper articles for one of the P.O.S. bi-weekly newspapers at my school. I will continue to use this as a testing ground to see if I have enough bullshit to write about on a topic to turn it into article length.
My next topics for writing are going to be two of these four: Professor Layton and the Curious Village, Darjeeling Limited, Justice League: New Frontier and the new Murder By Death CD.
~~~
Some notes on my brief play time with Professor Layton:
-It's like Phoenix Wright with no court and all logic puzzles.
-Has a very nice European animation style (Think Tin Tin or Triplets of Belleville)
-Puzzles sometimes thread on 'holy fuck this shit is hard' territory but for every one seemingly impossible puzzle, there are at least five that make you feel semi-smart instead of totally retarded.
-If there ever was a game that made you feel like you were mentally challenged, this would be it.
-Great characters
-See the Game|Life PSA at the end of their coverage of Brawl.
-If you own a DS, you owe it to yourself to buy this game.
~~~~
I've reached the point of a highly anticipated event when I stop following a normal calendar and just state the day as "Today is 19 days away from Brawl".
If people recall, I wrote a week and a half long poem about Rock Band (See the 12 Days of Rock Band) because of my anticipation for the game.
Will Brawl get the same treatment? I'm not sure. Will I write about it a lot? YA GODDAMN RIGHT! There's a huge difference between Brawl and Rock Band. Rock Band is noisy and I can't play it every moment of the day. Brawl can be a rather noiseless game if needed, so I will probably stop playing the game for classes and a few hours at work so I can catch up with schoolwork.
~~~~~
Roger Clemens is fucking guilty.
~~~~~~
Heroes is a fucking kickass show. I finished Season One the other day and I am avoiding beginning Season Two because I know its only 12 episodes and that there will be no new episodes until at least September.
~~~~~~~
I downloaded "El Scorcho" by Weezer and "Sex Type Thing" by STP from the Rock Band DLC Treasure Trove. El Scorcho is fantastic and Sex Type Thing just makes me think of the Weird Al Polka that it is in.
~~~~~~~~
Today I bought Ninja Gaiden III off of Virtual Console. I've actually never played the game and I am very excited to cry and piss and moan while playing it because, after playing it for 15 minutes before I had to go to work, I could only manage to get to the second half of level two. Fucking Tecmo and their ridiculously hard games.
There's a reason I haven't played the new Ninja Gaiden and that is because I know how hard the originals are and I don't feel like fucking crying in 3D. Crying in 2D is tough enough.
~~~~~~~~~
For anyone that got to the end, I have a question of beardly proportions. I have some semblance of a beard going on and I am giving you, the reader, some options as to what you, the reader, think I, the writer, should do with it.
A) Just go all Grizzly Adams with it
2) Shave it so I look like a 14 year old instead of a 17 year old
c) Make it a Goat
D) Grow a 'Stache
5) Leave the burns, chop the rest
~~~~~~~~~~
Nearing 18 days til Brawl...
Or it could be from the cold and wind going down my throat and my immune system finally wearing down after a season of fighting the wintery weather hardcore for a week and then being like 'eh, too many layers' and sending myself out onto the frozen tundra of William Paterson with nothing but pants, shoes and a jacket.
If there is anything illegible in this post, I blame Wayne Hall, for all I've eaten has been at that grimy place of food stuffs.
~~
You wonderful readers witnessed history the other day. My Y: The Last Man and Barkley posts were restructured into semi-legitimate newspaper articles for one of the P.O.S. bi-weekly newspapers at my school. I will continue to use this as a testing ground to see if I have enough bullshit to write about on a topic to turn it into article length.
My next topics for writing are going to be two of these four: Professor Layton and the Curious Village, Darjeeling Limited, Justice League: New Frontier and the new Murder By Death CD.
~~~
Some notes on my brief play time with Professor Layton:
-It's like Phoenix Wright with no court and all logic puzzles.
-Has a very nice European animation style (Think Tin Tin or Triplets of Belleville)
-Puzzles sometimes thread on 'holy fuck this shit is hard' territory but for every one seemingly impossible puzzle, there are at least five that make you feel semi-smart instead of totally retarded.
-If there ever was a game that made you feel like you were mentally challenged, this would be it.
-Great characters
-See the Game|Life PSA at the end of their coverage of Brawl.
-If you own a DS, you owe it to yourself to buy this game.
~~~~
I've reached the point of a highly anticipated event when I stop following a normal calendar and just state the day as "Today is 19 days away from Brawl".
If people recall, I wrote a week and a half long poem about Rock Band (See the 12 Days of Rock Band) because of my anticipation for the game.
Will Brawl get the same treatment? I'm not sure. Will I write about it a lot? YA GODDAMN RIGHT! There's a huge difference between Brawl and Rock Band. Rock Band is noisy and I can't play it every moment of the day. Brawl can be a rather noiseless game if needed, so I will probably stop playing the game for classes and a few hours at work so I can catch up with schoolwork.
~~~~~
Roger Clemens is fucking guilty.
~~~~~~
Heroes is a fucking kickass show. I finished Season One the other day and I am avoiding beginning Season Two because I know its only 12 episodes and that there will be no new episodes until at least September.
~~~~~~~
I downloaded "El Scorcho" by Weezer and "Sex Type Thing" by STP from the Rock Band DLC Treasure Trove. El Scorcho is fantastic and Sex Type Thing just makes me think of the Weird Al Polka that it is in.
~~~~~~~~
Today I bought Ninja Gaiden III off of Virtual Console. I've actually never played the game and I am very excited to cry and piss and moan while playing it because, after playing it for 15 minutes before I had to go to work, I could only manage to get to the second half of level two. Fucking Tecmo and their ridiculously hard games.
There's a reason I haven't played the new Ninja Gaiden and that is because I know how hard the originals are and I don't feel like fucking crying in 3D. Crying in 2D is tough enough.
~~~~~~~~~
For anyone that got to the end, I have a question of beardly proportions. I have some semblance of a beard going on and I am giving you, the reader, some options as to what you, the reader, think I, the writer, should do with it.
A) Just go all Grizzly Adams with it
2) Shave it so I look like a 14 year old instead of a 17 year old
c) Make it a Goat
D) Grow a 'Stache
5) Leave the burns, chop the rest
~~~~~~~~~~
Nearing 18 days til Brawl...
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden
I have gotten lethargic in my posts and for that, I am sorry. I am gravely sorry to all two of you waiting for my every word on what video games to like, what movies or TV shows to watch and when to eat food.
For the record, you should be playing Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden, watching Heroes and eating now.
Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden is a post-apocalyptic basketball RPG made by indie developer, Tales of Game's Studios. It stars a seemingly ageless Charles Barkley, his son Hoopz, a genetically engineered Cyberdwarf and Lebron James' octoroon great-grandson, Balthios, on a quest to stop the evil B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. terrorist group from using the basketball that Barkley and co. were trapped in during Space Jam to destroy the world with a Chaos Dunk. Barkley and the gang also need to stop Michael Jordan who is a traitor to the underground basketball cause. Seriously.
Some early bosses include a zombie Kobe Bryant, a Vince Carter cyborg, evil referees and a Bill Cosby ghost. You use neo-shekels to buy items such as tobacco, chup, insulin and alcohol to cure such things as Asperger's, Glaucoma, Diabetes and Parkinson's. If a character dies, you can revive them by using steroids. Once again, I am being serious. This is a real game.
I am currently in the Spalding building in Proto New York looking for answers to why Charles Barkley was framed for using a Chaos Dunk to destroy most of Manhattan.
This is probably one of the funniest games I have ever played and the funniest part is the fact that this is actually is a good game. You would think that a game seeping with all of these ridiculous ideas would be terrible and only playable because of the urge to see what happens to other random basketball stars (yes, Larry Bird is a priest) or see when Barkley next uses the f-bomb.
The game is very reminiscent of the 2D RPGs of the Super Nintendo era and include many gameplay mechanics that have reminded me of Final Fantasy VI, Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario and Chrono Trigger.
For the record, you should be playing Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden, watching Heroes and eating now.
Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden is a post-apocalyptic basketball RPG made by indie developer, Tales of Game's Studios. It stars a seemingly ageless Charles Barkley, his son Hoopz, a genetically engineered Cyberdwarf and Lebron James' octoroon great-grandson, Balthios, on a quest to stop the evil B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. terrorist group from using the basketball that Barkley and co. were trapped in during Space Jam to destroy the world with a Chaos Dunk. Barkley and the gang also need to stop Michael Jordan who is a traitor to the underground basketball cause. Seriously.
Some early bosses include a zombie Kobe Bryant, a Vince Carter cyborg, evil referees and a Bill Cosby ghost. You use neo-shekels to buy items such as tobacco, chup, insulin and alcohol to cure such things as Asperger's, Glaucoma, Diabetes and Parkinson's. If a character dies, you can revive them by using steroids. Once again, I am being serious. This is a real game.
I am currently in the Spalding building in Proto New York looking for answers to why Charles Barkley was framed for using a Chaos Dunk to destroy most of Manhattan.
This is probably one of the funniest games I have ever played and the funniest part is the fact that this is actually is a good game. You would think that a game seeping with all of these ridiculous ideas would be terrible and only playable because of the urge to see what happens to other random basketball stars (yes, Larry Bird is a priest) or see when Barkley next uses the f-bomb.
The game is very reminiscent of the 2D RPGs of the Super Nintendo era and include many gameplay mechanics that have reminded me of Final Fantasy VI, Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario and Chrono Trigger.
Monday, February 4, 2008
What the fork, Let's do some 2008-09 NFL Predictions
I'm at work and I'm bored. I've been reading Super Bowl coverage for the majority of my time here. Now I'm anxious for next season. Let's do some speculation.
AFC East:
The Patriots dominated this division last year and despite the crushing defeat, I think they have some fight in them. Although they have the Super Bowl loser slump holding them back, I think they will compete for the division title with a resurgent Jets team. Mangini is a smart guy and I don't think the Jets will repeat their follies of the past year. The Bills will also be in the mix and the lowly Dolphins, while not 1-15, will not be breaking any positive records next year.Lets say...
*NYJ 10-6NE 9-7
BUF 7-9MIA 4-12
AFC North:
The Steelers are not a bad team. Not at all. However, I think tides are changing in the AFC North. The Browns, led by the success of Derek Anderson or Brady Quinn, will win the division followed by a disapointed Pittsburgh team and a rising Bengals team and a still crappy Ravens team in what might be Ray Lewis' final year.*CLE 11-5
+PITT 9-7CIN 7-9
BAL 5-11AFC South:
This is not an accurate prediction, this is incredibly bias: The Jaguars are winning this division and will be the best team in the AFC. Fuck the Colts. Also, Vince Young will probably do a lot better now that he's not on the cover of Madden. The Texans will mourn being in the most ridiculous division in the NFL.*JAX 13-3
+IND 11-5TEN 8-8
HOU 8-8AFC West:
I think the Chargers still have control of this division. I think Shanahan's shenanigans are beginning to get old and his Broncos, while still competitive, ain't winning no playoff games. The Chiefs are a confused team who's success depends on Larry Johnson. The Raiders might be better if they actually have a consistently decent quarterback.*SD 10-6
DEN 9-7OAK 6-10
KC 5-11NFC East:
The Giants will probably not repeat as I think both Patriots and the Giants will fall short of next year's playoffs. The Eagles might come on strong as they showed life at the end of the year. The Redskins had their shot at a miracle this year but the Giants snatched the thunder after the Skins fell to Seattle. The Cowboys will be that really good regular season team that can't win the big game.*DAL 11-5
NYG 8-8PHI 8-8
WAS 7-9NFC North:
This is biased.But regardless, I think the Packers are a young team on the rise regardless of Favre coming back or not. I think when the inevitable happens and Favre retires, Aaron Rodgers will be able to lead the team as there is solid groundwork set for this team to become a powerhouse again.
*GB 11-5MIN 8-8
CHI 7-9DET 5-11
NFC South:
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the Saints will dominate this division. If Deuce McAllister is healthy, they are a damn good team. The Bucs were a flash in the pan and the Panthers might be playoff bound behind a healthy Jake Delhomme. The Falcons barely have a real team.
*NO 11-5+CAR 10-6
TB 6-10ATL 2-14
NFC West:
The Patriots have been defeated and now it is time for the Rams to come out of their shell again. Kurt Warner's Cardinals and his former Rams will compete for the NFC West title. The Seahawks will remain competitive, but I don't think they will win this one as it might not be so easy.
*STL 9-7+ARI 9-7
SEA 7-9SF 4-12
So there you have my tentative ridiculous predictions for the 2008 NFL Season.
Next time, I'll work with the 2008 Playoffs.
Here's the seeding
AFC
1. Jacksonville
2. Cleveland
3. San Diego
4. New York Jets
5. Indianapolis
6. Pittsburgh
NFC
1. Dallas
2. Green Bay
3. New Orleans
4. St. Louis
5. Carolina
6. Arizona
So there you have my tentative ridiculous predictions for the 2008 NFL Season.
Next time, I'll work with the 2008 Playoffs.
Here's the seeding
AFC
1. Jacksonville
2. Cleveland
3. San Diego
4. New York Jets
5. Indianapolis
6. Pittsburgh
NFC
1. Dallas
2. Green Bay
3. New Orleans
4. St. Louis
5. Carolina
6. Arizona
Super Bowl Ruminations
Holy crap.
I'd say I'm shocked and amazed that the Giants beat the Running Pat Riots, but I'm not.
It's true. Not suprised at all. Shit, why do you think I was so worried when the Packers played the Giants?
Because that team had all the makings of the great underdogs. Also, New York-Boston karma dictated that if a New York team faced a Boston team in an important game, that New York would have to win.
The football went square through Tom Brady's legs last night in a manner similar to Bill Buckner.
The metaphorical Dave Roberts (David Tyree) stole a base while David Ortiz (Eli or Plaxico, but Plaxico's a dick, so let's make Eli be Big Papi in this metaphor) hit a home run.
Eli Manning might get a little more respect now that he won the big one (doubt it, he's still goofy as hell and he's on a New York team. If New York fans can hate A-Rod for having an MVP year, than Eli is fucking screwed) but, if I were him, I wouldn't care.
How many sportswriters won a Super Bowl and became an MVP? Well, noticing the turn over in players to sportswriters, probably a few.
I was surronded by people routing for the Giants, mainly because of the afforementioned New York-Boston rivalry, and they doubted. They were worried their team couldn't do it.
Seriously, if you saw that game, would you have thought that the Patriots would win that game? They played like ass. Brady got sacked like 6 times. Maroney had about 3 yards rushing. The once prolific Patriots offense looked like Donovan McNabb and the Eggles in the earlier game where the Giants sacked McNabb more times than he ever was sacked at Syracuse.
I don't know what in the hell happened to Tom Brady and Co., but they became the grand villain that they were facing when they played the Rams, and I don't think they recognized it. They were cocky, supposedly inviting Giants players to their own postgame parties (I would've gone afterwards regardless of the outcome if I were a Giants player) and they showed practically no emotion. Terrible stuff for a championship team.
The Giants, on the other hand, shut the Patriots O-Line down and Eli did the same crap he did against the Packers and the Cowboys. He efficiently moved the ball downfield when he needed to. And while he'll always be Napoleon Dynamite to me, I applaud him for doing so damn well in that game.
Congrats Eli, Congrats Giants and it must suck to be Tiki Barber.
~~
Here's my own scoresheet for the game:
Giants still have Plaxico Burress: Pats 0, Giants -1
Wes Welker is the shit: Pats 1, Giants -1
Strahan saying "resiliency" with a heavy lisp: Pats 1, Giants -2
Brady only had like to funny sketches the time he hosted SNL: Pats 0, Giants -2
Belicheck is wearing ugly red hoodie: Pats -1, Giants -2
Brady getting the shit sacked out of him: Pats -2, Giants -2
Like, fucking seriously, Wes Welker is the shit: Pats -1, Giants -2
Anything regarding Kevin Boss: Pats -1, Giants -1
Manning-Tyree pass: Giants 0, Pats -1
Manning-Plaxico TD: Giants -1, Pats -1
Welker didn't see the ball on the Pats' last drive (actually, only Brady saw the ball when he was sacked the fuck out): Giants -1, Pats -2
Final Score: Giants -1, Pats -2
Woo.
Yay New York!
I'm cheering now, but you bet your ass I'm gonna hate these fuckers if they play the Packers in the playoffs again.
I will always bleed Green and Gold, but I also have give credit where credit's due. Barvaro, Giants, Bravo.
I'd say I'm shocked and amazed that the Giants beat the Running Pat Riots, but I'm not.
It's true. Not suprised at all. Shit, why do you think I was so worried when the Packers played the Giants?
Because that team had all the makings of the great underdogs. Also, New York-Boston karma dictated that if a New York team faced a Boston team in an important game, that New York would have to win.
The football went square through Tom Brady's legs last night in a manner similar to Bill Buckner.
The metaphorical Dave Roberts (David Tyree) stole a base while David Ortiz (Eli or Plaxico, but Plaxico's a dick, so let's make Eli be Big Papi in this metaphor) hit a home run.
Eli Manning might get a little more respect now that he won the big one (doubt it, he's still goofy as hell and he's on a New York team. If New York fans can hate A-Rod for having an MVP year, than Eli is fucking screwed) but, if I were him, I wouldn't care.
How many sportswriters won a Super Bowl and became an MVP? Well, noticing the turn over in players to sportswriters, probably a few.
I was surronded by people routing for the Giants, mainly because of the afforementioned New York-Boston rivalry, and they doubted. They were worried their team couldn't do it.
Seriously, if you saw that game, would you have thought that the Patriots would win that game? They played like ass. Brady got sacked like 6 times. Maroney had about 3 yards rushing. The once prolific Patriots offense looked like Donovan McNabb and the Eggles in the earlier game where the Giants sacked McNabb more times than he ever was sacked at Syracuse.
I don't know what in the hell happened to Tom Brady and Co., but they became the grand villain that they were facing when they played the Rams, and I don't think they recognized it. They were cocky, supposedly inviting Giants players to their own postgame parties (I would've gone afterwards regardless of the outcome if I were a Giants player) and they showed practically no emotion. Terrible stuff for a championship team.
The Giants, on the other hand, shut the Patriots O-Line down and Eli did the same crap he did against the Packers and the Cowboys. He efficiently moved the ball downfield when he needed to. And while he'll always be Napoleon Dynamite to me, I applaud him for doing so damn well in that game.
Congrats Eli, Congrats Giants and it must suck to be Tiki Barber.
~~
Here's my own scoresheet for the game:
Giants still have Plaxico Burress: Pats 0, Giants -1
Wes Welker is the shit: Pats 1, Giants -1
Strahan saying "resiliency" with a heavy lisp: Pats 1, Giants -2
Brady only had like to funny sketches the time he hosted SNL: Pats 0, Giants -2
Belicheck is wearing ugly red hoodie: Pats -1, Giants -2
Brady getting the shit sacked out of him: Pats -2, Giants -2
Like, fucking seriously, Wes Welker is the shit: Pats -1, Giants -2
Anything regarding Kevin Boss: Pats -1, Giants -1
Manning-Tyree pass: Giants 0, Pats -1
Manning-Plaxico TD: Giants -1, Pats -1
Welker didn't see the ball on the Pats' last drive (actually, only Brady saw the ball when he was sacked the fuck out): Giants -1, Pats -2
Final Score: Giants -1, Pats -2
Woo.
Yay New York!
I'm cheering now, but you bet your ass I'm gonna hate these fuckers if they play the Packers in the playoffs again.
I will always bleed Green and Gold, but I also have give credit where credit's due. Barvaro, Giants, Bravo.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Juno and Japanese Masturbatory Fantasies. Also, Football.
It has come to the time of the college semester where I make my first trip home. Like I did last semester, I waited until the end of the first month before I came home. However, we are in school for the entire month of September and about two fucking days in January.
Anyway, on with the blog...
~~
I was thinking about Juno on my trek home.
It's a superb film, might be getting a little too much credit, but regardless, I recommend it to everyone. You have a lot of knockout performances by solid actors and actresses and the writing has this weird quality to it that will either work for you or not work.
Now the dialogue is the main bone of contention I have heard from the critics. Their reasoning being that no 16 year old girl in the year of 2007/08 would be making references to the Thundercats and Soupy Sales. Besides the point that these critics obviously don't know the rampant nostalgia of teenagers (how else do you explain Transformers doing well at the box office?) and also the fact that I, for one, was not coherent/born when the Thundercats were relevant and I picked up the nod in the movie and laughed, I feel the need to defend the dialogue in one simple way:
This is the writer's world, let her do whatever the fuck she wants. She wants her teen characters to reference 80s' pop culture? Go for it. I remember reading or watching something that Kevin Smith said about how all his movies are about two guys using big words and monologuing about Star Wars and Jaws. It was something about how in his ideal world, people talk in long overarching monologues about pop culture that was relevant to him. So maybe in Diablo Cody's ideal world, people references pop culture thats from before their times.
Whatever, the movie was solid. I hope it wins Best Picture no matter how much of no chance it has.
~~
My interest is piquing for No More Heroes. For the uninformed, No More Heroes is a crazy Japanese game about assassins. and lightsabers. and poon. and killing. with swords. boobs. fire boobs.
From my understanding, this game is a Japanese parody of American culture at its base. The humor and cool cel-shaded graphics definitly seems to be damn cool.
If I had money to burn, I would totally be all over this game, but money is tight right now as I am awaiting getting paid for the first time this semester, so thus, no game.
Plus, I wanna buy Harvey Birdman, Geometry Wars: Galaxies and probably about 5 other games too. I can't make a decision! *sigh* At least I traded in Madden Wii 08 for All-Pro Football, which is a lot better than that pile of crap. The one thing I can't stand in current Maddens is that you can't read shit. There's so much information on the screen and I don't know if it is my lack of HDTV or my eyesight, but I have to piece together context clues to figure out who the fuck everyone is. It's terrible. When in the hell did EA Sports decide to make the games unreadable. I can picture the developer taking it up to the bigwigs.
Developer: So, there's this year's game.
Bigwig: Umm...Why can I read the player's name?
Developer: What?
Bigwig: I want more mystery in this year's Madden. I demand that we make the text completly unreadable.
Developer: Umm...alright.
~~
Final Prediction for the Super Bowl:
New England 35, New York 21
Anyway, on with the blog...
~~
I was thinking about Juno on my trek home.
It's a superb film, might be getting a little too much credit, but regardless, I recommend it to everyone. You have a lot of knockout performances by solid actors and actresses and the writing has this weird quality to it that will either work for you or not work.
Now the dialogue is the main bone of contention I have heard from the critics. Their reasoning being that no 16 year old girl in the year of 2007/08 would be making references to the Thundercats and Soupy Sales. Besides the point that these critics obviously don't know the rampant nostalgia of teenagers (how else do you explain Transformers doing well at the box office?) and also the fact that I, for one, was not coherent/born when the Thundercats were relevant and I picked up the nod in the movie and laughed, I feel the need to defend the dialogue in one simple way:
This is the writer's world, let her do whatever the fuck she wants. She wants her teen characters to reference 80s' pop culture? Go for it. I remember reading or watching something that Kevin Smith said about how all his movies are about two guys using big words and monologuing about Star Wars and Jaws. It was something about how in his ideal world, people talk in long overarching monologues about pop culture that was relevant to him. So maybe in Diablo Cody's ideal world, people references pop culture thats from before their times.
Whatever, the movie was solid. I hope it wins Best Picture no matter how much of no chance it has.
~~
My interest is piquing for No More Heroes. For the uninformed, No More Heroes is a crazy Japanese game about assassins. and lightsabers. and poon. and killing. with swords. boobs. fire boobs.
From my understanding, this game is a Japanese parody of American culture at its base. The humor and cool cel-shaded graphics definitly seems to be damn cool.
If I had money to burn, I would totally be all over this game, but money is tight right now as I am awaiting getting paid for the first time this semester, so thus, no game.
Plus, I wanna buy Harvey Birdman, Geometry Wars: Galaxies and probably about 5 other games too. I can't make a decision! *sigh* At least I traded in Madden Wii 08 for All-Pro Football, which is a lot better than that pile of crap. The one thing I can't stand in current Maddens is that you can't read shit. There's so much information on the screen and I don't know if it is my lack of HDTV or my eyesight, but I have to piece together context clues to figure out who the fuck everyone is. It's terrible. When in the hell did EA Sports decide to make the games unreadable. I can picture the developer taking it up to the bigwigs.
Developer: So, there's this year's game.
Bigwig: Umm...Why can I read the player's name?
Developer: What?
Bigwig: I want more mystery in this year's Madden. I demand that we make the text completly unreadable.
Developer: Umm...alright.
~~
Final Prediction for the Super Bowl:
New England 35, New York 21
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