Schedule, Video Game Tourney and More

As all 4 of you who read this have become aware, there has been no posting since August 17th.
That was one day shy of 2 weeks ago.
I, obviously, can not keep a schedule.
So that's why I'm going to actually try to keep one.

I am currently in a flux of packing all my shit up and getting prepared to move into college for my second year at William Paterson University and while I am there, I will be forced to keep a schedule, albeit one containing allotted time for video games, binge drinking and other illegal things.

I recently hosted the first annual Video Game Quadrathlon at the library of which housed me as a shelver in my younger days. It was filled with many joyous and moments and had a bunch of people playing Wii Sports Tennis, Mario Kart 64, Goldeneye 64 and Super Smash Bros. Melee.
The four finalists all played extremely well although the final round slowly became boring as the eventual winner, Joe Patnick, rocked everyone's little world as he placed 1st in every event in the last two rounds except for the 2nd place finish in the final round of Goldeneye. Joe won a Sega Game Gear with Sonic 2, Clutch Hitter and Columns. The runner-up, Aaron Edwards, won arguably the cooler prize which was Banjo-Kazooie advertisement tape from the late 90s'. Nick DePue and the tag team of Billy and Manny Brown rounded out the top 4.
On that note, I would like to announce the tentative plans for the next Video Game Quadrathlon.
With the success of the first one, I am going to try to do this tourney twice a year. Once over the summer and once during the winter. The upcoming tournament will most likely take place in the week between Christmas and New Year's. The only game I can reveal that will not be changed is Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Anyway, I will probably write full reviews of video games and such in the near future. Expect reviews of Bioshock, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, Brain Age 2, Shadow of the Colossus, Guitar Hero 80s, Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition and whatever else I can throw at all you rat fucks.
I'll continue with my musings about trivial things like Ninja Turtles and how much Pokemon owns my life (which, funny story, isn't happening right now. Emphasis on now).

But anyway, my Brain's not gonna train itself, so I'm gonna go play some Brain Age.

Fuck Pants, yo.

Irony Thy Name Is Peach (For Today At Least)

Last night I binged on Super Smash Bros Melee with Billy and Manny and I discovered an unbeatable force (for the night anyway). A character that no one could beat.
Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom.
I can't really explain it. It might have something to do with her sweet down smash or her frilly umbrella, but Billy and Manny could not touch the fury that was pink and wearing a dress.
Now for the ironic part.
I check the Smash Bros. Dojo website today and what character has information revealed about her?
Peach.

VG Cats is a pretty damn funny webcomic. I've been reading that at work all morning and churned through the entire collection. The Warioware comic deserves recognition. So does the Mario Bros/300 comic.

Superbad looks fucking fantastic. I will hopefully see that tonight and laugh uproariously at the genius that is currently Seth Rogen.
Even if the movie sucks, he still was in the greatest TV show ever made. (Freaks and Geeks)

Harvey Birdman is amazing. Despite it being over, its still the cream of the crop at Adult Swim, in my opinion. A part of me is sad that the Hanna-Barbera mocking cartoons are dying out. We need more Space Ghost action!

Mario Strikers is still the devil as it continues to thwart me at every attempt I make at beating the second cup.
My gaming affections are getting focused there and on Metroid Prime 3, Melee and Bioshlock.
I believe I've already emphatically talked about my Prime 3 adoration and Melee was touched upon already and didn't really need any explanation to begin with.
Bioshock looks fantastic and I'm pissed off because I keep on hearing wonderful things and I don't wanna be forced to buy it because I don't wanna spend money.
Damn you good games! Why can't I be like Patnick and be bitter at the world of console gaming and just play WoW and the occasional MKart or Melee?

Dewy's Adventure comes out on September 5th...and then we go into another month of about 3-4 games I want.

Fuck...

The Last Metroid Is In Captivity, The Galaxy Is At Peace

With those immortal words, one of the greatest games of all time began to totally rock our faces off.
Yes Virginia, I am talking about Super Metroid for the greatest system ever made, the Super Nintendo.
I'm currently firmly baited in Nintendo's very late hype for the upcoming Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Mother Brain is going to be in it and that excites me in an old-school Metroid fanboy way. For the people not as versed in Metroid lore, Mother Brain is a giant brain that was the final boss in Metroid and Super Metroid. Apparently, as revealed in the latest videos hyping the new game, Mother Brain is apparently trying to have sense made of out of her (it?). Whatever sci-fi "OMG THE GOVERNMENT CREATED THE REAVERS!" bullshit they throw at us, I'm in. I have the game pre-ordered anyway as part of my epic "Buy 3 Harvest Moons at Best Buy for $25 and make about a $20 profit at EBGames" deal.

Speaking of my deal whore nature, I got the Brak Show Season 2 for 15 bucks at Best Buy. However, I negated that saving but caving and buying Harvey Birdman Volume 3 for 27, but I love me some Harvey Birdman.

I'm about to finally try the new Madden for Wii. I trust it will be good. Whatever happens, I have a Packer team to rebuild. I've been asking for a non-dominant Packer team to rebuild on Madden back when they were awesome and now I want my balls-to-the-wall kick ass Packer team back. I mean, Verrand Morency? Who the fuck?

Speaking of sports, the Yankees are on fucking fire. I really hope there are at least three people in Boston that shit their pants. That would make my day.
My nickname for Joba Chamberlain (the Yankee's hot shot rookie pitcher) is Thunderbird, because I love my X-Men and the man is a fiery Native American. Hopefully he won't die in his second issue he's in.

Mario Strikers is the best game on Wii.
You have a differing opinion than me? Then blow me, because I am right and everyone who has played that game knows it is true.
Hammer Spam is cheap.
So is Toad's Flip.
Dry Bones is still pimp.

There's Halo 3 Soda...I See No Presence of God

So I walked into Shop-Rite to get some food stuffs for the poker game I hosted and I walked down the soda aisle and noticed something rather appalling but, like a train wreck, I had to look at it and eventually buy it. There was Mountain Dew Halo 3 soda code-named, "Game Fuel".
I demand a Wii version that is akin to the short-lived Strawberwii Kiwii Slurpee flavor that existed for about a month after the system launched.
That was one of my favorite slurpee flavors.
And when Manhunt 2 comes out (it will), let's have a blood flavored drink called "Kill Fuel". It'll sell well with vampires.

Note: The book ending to Fight Club will forever pwn the movie ending. 'Nuff said.

It's August, which means fantasy football season is upon us. I participated in my first draft and did not take Michael Vick. So I guess I win. I do have Peyton Manning. That means I'll have amazing stats and a bunch of cheezy acting.

Speaking of football, Madden 08 comes out on Tuesday. Too bad it can only be the second best sports game of the year. Mario Strikers Charged has officially won that title unless Rock Band, Brawl or Mario Galaxy are somehow morphed into sports games.

Note: CTF is not a sport

Speaking of Mario Strikers Charged, Hammer Bros is the new cheap character. Hammer Spam is obnoxious and Joe's a prick. However, Dry Bones is still fair and still dominant.

I think Beerfest is probably one of the greatest comedies of this era. Its got a great mix of ingredients that make a perfect comedy. Its got overt slapstick comedy, verbal wit, beer, foreigners, emotion, suprises, boobs and pot.

Metroid Mania Month, Multiple Movies and More

After reading an IGN article about how Metroid Prime 3 is not being hyped at all, Nintendo finally has done something to hype up its next big release.
They made August Metroid Mania Month! YAYLOLROXORSHRDCR!
And the only thing that really matters about that is the Virtual Console release of one of the greatest games ever made, Super Metroid, on August 20th.
I mean, I guess I'm excited about MP3 (haha, its like a music file!) and I guess its kinda cool that theres some out there rumor about Mother Brain being the final boss (Bring back the Brain and Kraid and that shit's easily the best Metroid game out of the Prime trilogy) but there's one problem that every Metroid Prime game faces and every Metroid game faces after Prime is done.
It's not Super Metroid.
All the graphix in the world will not make a game more beautiful and jaw-dropping and wonderful as Super Metroid.
So everyone should play it.

I've been reading about Stardust today during work (which has deterioated into having a stock Excel file up and reading shit on the internets and writing this) and I must say, I kind of want to see it at some point. I've always liked Neil Gaiman's stuff (I still have to watch the end of Mirrormask) and despite the fact that I kept on getting Clare Danes confused with Claire Forlani from Mallrats, the movie looks amusing.
I'm also reading a Gaiman book for my Sci-Fi/Fantasy lit class next semester. It's called Neverwhere...dunno much about it.

Mario Strikers Charged is an amazing game. I am continually amazed at the depth and strategy in what appears to be a simple game. My only complaint is how absurdly challenging it is. The computer is really cheap but they basically play like a real person and exploit the little things in the game that a live player would. I haven't had my Wii hooked up to the internet since I got it, but I probably will try out online play in the near future. I think I've finally settled on my team in the game though. It consists of Waluigi (he's quick), Dry Bones (easily the best sidekick in the game), Hammer Bros (cheapest deke ever) and Shy Guy (he's a cutey). I'm currently sitting in 2nd place in the 2nd cup with a record of 3-2. Hopefully I won't fuck it up again.
Also taking up my gaming time is Guitar Hero: 80s Edition. I've noticed I'm overcoming my bum pinky and slowly getting better at this game. I destroyed the game on Medium, five starring everything and getting 3 perfects and now I'm cruising through hard. Best songs in the game thus far: Play With Me, The Warrior, Balls to the Wall and I Wanna Rock
As usual, I probably play Pokemon more than anything else and I'm currently building up my team to the mid-50s so that way I can breeze through the Elite 4 without crapping my pants everytime I near the end because my team is slightly underleveled. My Elite 4 smashing team consists of: Lauren the Infernape (Fire/Fighting), Shithead the Staraptor (Normal/Flying), Bong the Roserade (Grass/Poison), Bronzong (Psychic/Steel), Gyrados (Water/Flying) and Gengar (Ghost/Poison).

Well, I think I'm gonna go on break or, I don't know, start going postal. Today's really fucking boring. I spent 20 minutes looking at Virtual Boy games.

Great Games of '07 (Thus Far) And Other Video Game Comments

I don't exactly where to begin with this. I feel the need to start off somewhere with video games and this seems to be the best place to begin.
I've had my sporadic posts about movies and Pokemon (Pokemon doesn't count as a normal game in my book, its more of a way of life) and it seems like something about video games as a whole needs some grand introduction. It's no longer the niche market it once was. Just ask Manhunt 2.

I started looking at the games I've played that have come out in 2007 and I have figured out I've pretty much played Guitar Hero, Wii games, MLB 2k7 and Pokemon and that's it. My 2007 experiences on other systems have been muted thanks to the death of my 360 (and subsequent free resurrection), No PS3 and not getting back into DS until Pokecrack D&P were released.
However, when glancing over the release lists of games this year, it rekindled thoughts on some games that I want to play and others that look interesting that are on the horizon.
So here goes shit...

Here are the top 5 games I have played that have come out this year

1. Pokemon Pearl (DS)
2. Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition (Wii)
3. Warioware: Smooth Moves (Wii)
4. Super Paper Mario (Wii)
5. Mario Strikers Charged (Wii)

Obviously, Pokemon tops the list. No game on any system released thus far can even match the quality and depth of that game. I believe 3 days of my life have been spent playing that fucking demonspawn. I still play it almost daily even if its just 'hmm, let's see what Pokemon is swarming today' or 'Ya know what, let's level up my Cubone'
The number 2 spot was rather easy mainly because...well...I never played a lot of RE4 before I picked up the Wii Edition. I'm ashamed to admit it but its true. In retrospect, I'm glad I didn't get it, because this game feels like it was made for the Wii and its just fucking beautiful. Hands down the most atmospheric game I've played since Eternal Darkness. Although from what I've read about the Ayn Rand-inspired Bioshock is that that game should be rather unsettling with the atmosphere and such.
Warioware is still without a doubt the second best multiplayer game on Wii. The top being Wii Sports, naturally. I didn't expect Warioware to be that good until I actually played it. The game is a wonderful early showing for Wii much like it was for DS at its launch. I mean, flying around as angels and falling out of the sky? Priceless.
Super Paper Mario was probably my most anticipated Wii game after Zelda game out and it did not disapoint at all. Once again, Intelligent Systems brings forth one of the most ridiculous outlandish stories with the most absurd characters ever. Throw in the fact that it plays amazingly and you can play as Peach, Bowser and Luigi and its just pure gold.
Mario Strikers Charged rounds out the top 5 but might easily move up as we press on farther into the year. I picked this game up last week and it was well worth it. A ridiculously intense game that actually reminds me of playing Ninja Gaiden for NES (Shit, I haven't cursed that angrily at a game since I last played Ninja Gaiden...). The more I play this well made soccer game the more I worry for the safety of my Wii remote because Ninja Gaiden was the catalyst in my only thrown controller...

Here's another list, this one of games I need/want to play (in no particular order).

1. Project Sylpheed (360)
I kind of like shooters and I've been perplexed by the fact that Square-Enix made this game. Reviews were decent and I hope there's a demo on XBL.
2. Odin Sphere (PS2)
To be entirely truthful, I don't think I know what this game is even about but I keep hearing that it is the most beautiful and amazing 2D game evar and because I like pretty things, I wanna play this game.
Note to self: You need to finish Okami...
3. God of War II (PS2)
God of War was quite possibly the second best impulse buy my brother has ever made regarding video games. This can only be topped by the time he bought a PS1 and thanks to that random act of buying, I got to play Final Fantasy VII and Chrono Cross. So, naturally I need to play God of War II.
Note: Am I the only one confused when people refer God of War or Gears of War as GoW?
On The Same Note: Am I the only other one perplexed when GT4 and GTA4 get thrown around for Grand Turismo and Grand Theft Auto.
4. Pheonix Wright: Ace Attorney (DS)
This is more of a need to beat. As legend states, I bought Pheonix Wright about 3-4 weeks ago and enjoyed it a lot. Beat the first two cases and then paused. Then I got Billy to buy it and now he's beaten it.
I don't like being behind.
5. SSX Blur
Ok, I'll come clean, I'm a closet whore for extreme sports game. I use a lot of my resistance to not buy this shit but I keep on hearing good things about this game and there was a price drop recently and...damnit I don't need anymore games...
6. Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix
If this doesn't come out in America then I am totally going to not be suprised at all. Doesn't mean I don't want it all hardcore and shit.

And before I end this, here's a few parting notes
There needs to be a good 300 game made.
Wario needs to be in a Wario Land-esque game or at least another Treasure-made game.
If Rockstar releases Red Dead Revolver 2 for PS3, the combined pressure of that and MGS4 might make me consider beginning to think about possibly doing something to maybe think of possibly buying a gift card that I could use to redeem for cash at a store that sells PS3 and then buy a PS3 so I can play RDR2 and MGS4.
Also, Julia Stiles looks like a man. Not a horrible actress, but rather mannish.

I have nightmares about birthday parties...

So I just finished watching the Turtles movie. I can't explain it, but there's something about that movie that I just love. I mean, I step away from this movie and examine it and my logical self knows its not that great of a film.
Fuck logic.
I love the new Turtles movie. Yes, the villain isn't Shredder (so that means we don't care) but the Turtles' characterization is immaculate. The interaction between the Turtles throughout the movie drives home the whole point of the movie. Family. I loved how they had intricacies that made you instantly think of siblings. They had rivalry, jealousy, compassion...

Now a hotly debated question that I've had trouble answering spins out of this new Turtles movie.
"Who is your favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?"
I've always had difficulty answering this question.
In my younger rebellious pre-teen days, I would say Raphael right away, but as I grew up I grew away from that and was drawn more towards the leadership of Leo and the dominating Bo staff of Donny (that's no gay joke. Have you ever played a Turtles video game? Donny is teh awesome because of his long and hard staff.) Mikey's a fun answer too because he's all funny and he wields nunchucks.
I have to say, in the latest Turtle craze I've gone through, I have come full circle.
I am answering the presented question with one word: Raphael.
Because, let's face it, the fucker's got a lot of depth to him. And Sais are pretty bad ass. And he said "Damn" all the time in the original movie.

Anyway, once I get my 360 back from the gorgeous woman who I lent it to, does anyone wanna play some 4-player co-op in the TMNT 2 Arcade Game on X-Box Live Arcade?
Cuz I love that shit.

Such Heroic Nonsense

I really didn't think it would be good...
That's why I wasn't pumped for it. I mean, I'm me, so no shit, I'm seeing the goddamn movie opening night, but I really wasn't expecting much. Michael Bay is some kind of demonspawn. The only two names I recognized from the cast was Jon Voight and Shia LaBeouf. One was an aging legitimate star and the other is a rising former-Disney-Channel star.
Although...Optimus Prime was on the cast list.
I guess the trailers that revealed little about the wonderful machines made my hopes low.
I have to give the trailers credit, they didn't reveal too much. Probably the best ad campaigns that I have seen in a long time. They tantalize with fleeting shots of battling robots or quick shots of transforming Autobots but they never were like 'Peter! Did you know Harry's pissed at you and you're going to hurt him and the Sandman really killed your Uncle and You're going to get a black suit and lose it and Eddie Brock's gonna get it and then at the end of the movie, Harry's good and everyone else dies? Oh yea, and Gwen Stacy's blond. Did you hear me, GWEN STACY!'
Don't get me wrong, I throughly enjoyed Spider-Man 3, but if you saw any of the trailers and not the movie, I truly spoiled nothing. They tell you that shit in the trailers.
But anyway, this shit ain't about that Spider fuck. This shit is about the Autobots kicking Decepticon ass.
And that goes back to what I forgot about this movie. Its got that ingredient that made the Iron Giant such a great movie, Kids and Big Fucking Robots. I read somewhere about how Speilberg (who produced Transformers) was pushing hard for making the movie a 'boy and his car' movie. He obviously wanted to make the movie in a similar vein as ET or the classic video game, A Boy And His Blob.
I'm looking over this post and I have to apologize, it's got no focus, but I assume the 3 or 4 people who read this don't mind the lack of focus.

But whatever
Transformers was a wonderful breath of 80s' nostalgia and was perfect in this mild fan's eyes.
Here's to a sequel with Starscream being the douchebag he is and Megatron bitchslapping him. And let's bring on the Dinobots, because retard Grimlock is the shit. And Hot Rod aka Roddimus Prime best be showing up sometime.

Pokemon is my Anti-Christ

Holy hell. Subsequent posts about Pokemon? Yes, I am addicted to the demonspawn. It took a while for Senorita Pearl to use her allure to snag me from the clutches of wiiality and into the firm grip of Pokedependency. My parents are enrolling me in a 4 week 12 step program to kick the habit once and for all. This will be my third time in the Sony-sponsored PP (Pokemon Pseudonymous) meetings. The first time was in the summer before 6th grade in which they used an interesting tactic of having baiting my addiciton with a collectible trading card game since, as we all know, that shit gets old fast. Although that got me addicted to a more nerdy form of crack cocaine (Magic: The Gathering), it did the Poketrick, besides the one time during sophomore year when I went in a weekend tirade of wanting Pokemon Channel and Pokemon Box. It wasn't until my cat beat me with a shoe screaming "It's a fucking TV Show and a Storage Utility, you dumb shit!" that I finally admitted I had a problem and then enrolled in PP.
Well, hopefully you all wish me luck in...
...
...
GODDAMNITFUCKINGSONOFACOCKNOCKINGASSRAPI

NGMONKEYFUCKINGBOOB! I WAS GONNA KILL THE GODDAMN HIPPO-WHATEVERTHEFUCK AND THEN FUCKING BERTHA USED A FULL RESTORE! THERE IS NO GOD! FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M DONE FUCK YOU DS! I'M GOING TO BURN YOU AND BUY A DS LITE!