Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth, I've kind of had this fight to finish...
Sorry for the lame intro. Truth be told, I've played one mission in Campaign in Halo 3 and played way too much fucking multiplayer because well, why the fuck else does one buy Halo 3?
Answer: For the multiplayer
And while the game is certainly not ground breaking, it improves on everything that was laid out in the previous games. Albeit, I've heard reports of the Campaign being just a little less disapointing than the rug pull-out that was Halo 2's conclusion and overkill of monotony that was Halo: Combat Evolved's single player affair.
Although I'm sure some of you Halo faithful will disagree and praise the story and gameplay of the Campaigns, I don't buy it. Then again, I actually enjoyed Perfect Dark Zero so maybe my opinion doesn't matter.
But, the game is a freaking blast in Multiplayer and I really don't think it is a game that will ever get old. As I described to my roommate and suitemate, I have only begun to occasionally make out with the metaphorical girl that is Halo 3. I don't know, shit with me and Halo 3 might not get serious. We might never fuck, but right now I've been playing her multiplayer a lot and I feel like we've really meshed.
Note: Attempting to field a baseball game using Rockets and Gravity Hammers doesn't work so well but it is very fun if you throw in the Sentinel Beam.
In other non-Halo 3 news, I harbor good news and bad news.
Good news: Rock Band is going to be $170 for the bundle that comes with guitar, drums and mic. Cool beans considering those items separately would be about 200+. Cool beans, Harmonix...Cool beans.
Bad news: Rock Band is coming out of November 23rd. Now let me tell you all about a little date called November the 23rd. Go....check your calendar. What day is it? ITS FUCKING BLACK FRIDAY!!!! THE WORST GODDAMN SHOPPING DAY OF THE YEAR!!!! I suppose I might be pulling off an early morning smash-and-grab at a game-selling store and then being lethargic at my house while totally rockin' out while my mom yells at me because I'm not cleaning up after Thanksgiving. Although I heard rumors of Thanksgiving being at my brother's house. This might be good because then my mom won't be the clean nazi she becomes when company comes over. I don't fault my mom for being that way, but it would severly cramp my Rock Band style. I mean, how can I work on singing Suffragette City while playing guitar at the same time?
On a final note: This is the lamest week of Super Smash Brawl Blog ever. I want a new character announcement or something. Today's update was about Tourney mode. It didn't even really fucking say anything. It was just like 'Hey guy, there's gonna be Tourney mode! It's exactly like it was in Melee!!'
Friday, September 28, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
A Mild Hootenanny of X-Box 360 Reviews
This will be an abbreviated version of mini-reviews.
Also, I will refrain from mentioning Bioshock, because I am going to write a full-blooded review as soon as I finish it.
Perfect Dark Zero - 7.5/10
A disappointing but solid launch game. Gets bonus points because it has bots (eat it Halo!)
Kameo: Elements of Power - 7.5/10
Rare dropped a disturbingly solid launch game duo with this long-delayed adventure game. Very pretty and pretty fun. Very good concept that will probably never see a sequel but might benefit from such a thing.
Viva Pinata - 9.5/10
Probably one of the best games for 360. Pokemon meets Pinatas meets Harvest Moon. The terrible puns in every pinata name makes it just that damn cool. I mean, c'mon, Chewnicorn! ROARIO! Fudgehog!
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - 8.5/10
A very deep game that offers solid gameplay. Although, once you beat the main game and its various arcs (which can be grinded through very quickly), it can get old very quickly. The downloadable content adds to this, but that shit be money.
I guess you can make a new character but I'm sorry, same game with a new character doesn't make a brand new game.
That would be like taking the famous puzzle series Puyo Pop and releasing it on Wii's Virtual Console in its Genesis incarnation, Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine, and then taking pretty much the exact same game and release it in its SNES incarnation, Kirby's Avalanche and have it be more expensive. Wait...they did that? Oh...this is awkward...
Dead Rising - 9/10
Its fucking Dawn of the Dead, with a bajillion weapons. Fuck yea!
This may go against my somewhat negative comments about Oblivion, but LOTR-ish fantasy shit gets old'd, zombies don't.
XBox Live Arcade Games
Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved - 9.5/10
The best launch game for 360 and still one of the best games for the system. Very trippy. Not recommended when you're in an altered state of mind. Trust me.
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - 9.5/10
Think of this as Castlevania aping Super Metroid. Did anyone notice how I gave Super Metroid a perfect score?
Yea, this game is just as good.
If you own a 360, download this game. For $10 it offers a deeper game experience than most new releases.
Totem Ball - Camera/10
Probably one of the most frustrating games I've ever played. It uses the XBox Live Camera to control some Ptolmec Pturtle. Fucking stupid shite. I thought I liked it, but then I got really irritable when I played it and then realized that only Mario Strikers is allowed to do that to me and then started burning shit.
As you can probably see, I don't have a huge 360 collection.
If you wish to donate games, go for it. I love free stuff.
I figure I'll write about some games that may or may not be out that I am excited for the 3-red-rings-of-death'd system.
skate.
I need this game. The demo is just so enjoyable. It takes everything wrong with Tony Hawk and makes it fun again. I played the demo for Tony Hawk's Proving Ground after it and I couldn't stand it. I love skate for the fact that it encourages you to just fuck around in it.
Eternal Sonata
I've a big on for this RPG about Fredrick Chopin's last moments as portrayed in a freaky music-inspired dream where terminally ill people have special powers.
Mass Effect
New RPG from the guys who brought us KOTOR? Lesbian alien sex? Epic space story?
Word.
Guitar Hero III
Getting it for 360 instead of Wii because 360 promises confirmed DLC and I've got another controller for...
Rock Band
Nothing else matters*. Rock Band will rule.
*Super Smash Bros Brawl also matters.
Also, I will refrain from mentioning Bioshock, because I am going to write a full-blooded review as soon as I finish it.
Perfect Dark Zero - 7.5/10
A disappointing but solid launch game. Gets bonus points because it has bots (eat it Halo!)
Kameo: Elements of Power - 7.5/10
Rare dropped a disturbingly solid launch game duo with this long-delayed adventure game. Very pretty and pretty fun. Very good concept that will probably never see a sequel but might benefit from such a thing.
Viva Pinata - 9.5/10
Probably one of the best games for 360. Pokemon meets Pinatas meets Harvest Moon. The terrible puns in every pinata name makes it just that damn cool. I mean, c'mon, Chewnicorn! ROARIO! Fudgehog!
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - 8.5/10
A very deep game that offers solid gameplay. Although, once you beat the main game and its various arcs (which can be grinded through very quickly), it can get old very quickly. The downloadable content adds to this, but that shit be money.
I guess you can make a new character but I'm sorry, same game with a new character doesn't make a brand new game.
That would be like taking the famous puzzle series Puyo Pop and releasing it on Wii's Virtual Console in its Genesis incarnation, Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine, and then taking pretty much the exact same game and release it in its SNES incarnation, Kirby's Avalanche and have it be more expensive. Wait...they did that? Oh...this is awkward...
Dead Rising - 9/10
Its fucking Dawn of the Dead, with a bajillion weapons. Fuck yea!
This may go against my somewhat negative comments about Oblivion, but LOTR-ish fantasy shit gets old'd, zombies don't.
XBox Live Arcade Games
Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved - 9.5/10
The best launch game for 360 and still one of the best games for the system. Very trippy. Not recommended when you're in an altered state of mind. Trust me.
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - 9.5/10
Think of this as Castlevania aping Super Metroid. Did anyone notice how I gave Super Metroid a perfect score?
Yea, this game is just as good.
If you own a 360, download this game. For $10 it offers a deeper game experience than most new releases.
Totem Ball - Camera/10
Probably one of the most frustrating games I've ever played. It uses the XBox Live Camera to control some Ptolmec Pturtle. Fucking stupid shite. I thought I liked it, but then I got really irritable when I played it and then realized that only Mario Strikers is allowed to do that to me and then started burning shit.
As you can probably see, I don't have a huge 360 collection.
If you wish to donate games, go for it. I love free stuff.
I figure I'll write about some games that may or may not be out that I am excited for the 3-red-rings-of-death'd system.
skate.
I need this game. The demo is just so enjoyable. It takes everything wrong with Tony Hawk and makes it fun again. I played the demo for Tony Hawk's Proving Ground after it and I couldn't stand it. I love skate for the fact that it encourages you to just fuck around in it.
Eternal Sonata
I've a big on for this RPG about Fredrick Chopin's last moments as portrayed in a freaky music-inspired dream where terminally ill people have special powers.
Mass Effect
New RPG from the guys who brought us KOTOR? Lesbian alien sex? Epic space story?
Word.
Guitar Hero III
Getting it for 360 instead of Wii because 360 promises confirmed DLC and I've got another controller for...
Rock Band
Nothing else matters*. Rock Band will rule.
*Super Smash Bros Brawl also matters.
The Packers are the Best Team in the NFL
...For now.
Yes, this joyride of my preferred football team being undefeated will be torn asunder when they finally gain humanity (and has already been deflated by the fact that if they played any of the other undefeated teams, they'd be fucked three sides of Friday) but until they lose a game, there is no truly no team better than them. Sure, there are teams that are equal to them, but they all have the same damn record.
It truly is a joy to see Favre stop struggling and flailing, as has been the case the past few years, and finally see him kick ass and take names like he used to. This proves that Brett Favre is the motherfucking shit and will always be a force to be reckoned with no matter how close to 40 he gets.
I am very excited about the Packers now, because they actually look good and hopefully this will continue.
In other news, Halo 3 comes out tonight. That's cool. I'll write a blog post on Wednesday or Thursday about it so you fucks can know whats what in the world of trilogy finales.
Speaking of trilogy finales, Resident Evil: Extinction was dumb, brainless fun and I recommend it to anyone who doesn't like to think too hard and likes Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other movies with bad ass women as the lead.
Resident Evil 4 is amazing. (This ain't no damn cutscene! PRESS A! You don't have time to smoke a bowl! PRESS A!)
As a personal note to Billy, I played some more Phoenix Wright, I am at the final day in court of the 3rd trial and I'm about to find out if Phoenix and Co. are wright about who killed Jack Hammer. Speaking of that, did you hear about Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney?
I will continue my mini-review shenanigans tonight. Enjoi.
Yes, this joyride of my preferred football team being undefeated will be torn asunder when they finally gain humanity (and has already been deflated by the fact that if they played any of the other undefeated teams, they'd be fucked three sides of Friday) but until they lose a game, there is no truly no team better than them. Sure, there are teams that are equal to them, but they all have the same damn record.
It truly is a joy to see Favre stop struggling and flailing, as has been the case the past few years, and finally see him kick ass and take names like he used to. This proves that Brett Favre is the motherfucking shit and will always be a force to be reckoned with no matter how close to 40 he gets.
I am very excited about the Packers now, because they actually look good and hopefully this will continue.
In other news, Halo 3 comes out tonight. That's cool. I'll write a blog post on Wednesday or Thursday about it so you fucks can know whats what in the world of trilogy finales.
Speaking of trilogy finales, Resident Evil: Extinction was dumb, brainless fun and I recommend it to anyone who doesn't like to think too hard and likes Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other movies with bad ass women as the lead.
Resident Evil 4 is amazing. (This ain't no damn cutscene! PRESS A! You don't have time to smoke a bowl! PRESS A!)
As a personal note to Billy, I played some more Phoenix Wright, I am at the final day in court of the 3rd trial and I'm about to find out if Phoenix and Co. are wright about who killed Jack Hammer. Speaking of that, did you hear about Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney?
I will continue my mini-review shenanigans tonight. Enjoi.
Friday, September 21, 2007
I am weak. This is truly the way the world ends.
Apparently people love T.S. Elliot.
I am currently ensnared by two entertainment vehicles that quote "The Hollow Men"
The first being Richard Kelly's finally-soon-to-be-released film, Southland Tales. Its weird and it stars the Rock and Stifler. Also, Kevin Smith is an old war vet.
Note: Richard Kelly made Donnie Darko. OMG EVREE1 FREEK OUT!
I personally was not all too impressed with Donnie Darko. I didn't know if you made a confusing movie you should get lauded for it. Whatever...Southland Tales seems to be just the right amount of peculiar to make it some mildly thought-provoking fun.
The second entertainment vehicles is the one, the supposed almighty. Teh Halo 3.
As the title says, I am weak. I'm at the point where I am probably going to buy this game at launch. I was in 'fuck it, I'll play Bond' camp until today.
Two things went down.
First, I played Goldeneye 64. Holy shit, that game is so fucking dated. I found myself wishing it was more like Halo. Its aiming is not precise and it is a game that has been hurt by age. Not saying I never want to play the game again, but its old'd. I took me 10 fucking years to finally acknowledge that Goldeneye is an old ass game.
Note: Perfect Dark, however, is still the pinnacle of gaming that all First Person Shooters should strive to be.
Double Note: Only Perfect Dark for the N64. Perfect Dark Zero, while an amusing launch game, is just your standard generic FPS with Joanna Dark in it.
Second, Steve Rock sent me a link to the most recent Video Documentary on Bungie.net about the multiplayer level editor and video recording. He sent me this link the preface of "This finally got me psyched for the game" and it did the same trick for me.
I am finally psyched for the game. Like, for realz.
I'll admit, I'm not that pumped. This is by no means the end-all be-all of video games for me. Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros Brawl and Rock Band still trump the game without even being released. Shit, even the crapfest that will probably be Guitar Hero III will trump Halo 3 in my book.
But I think I'm going to buy the stupid godforsaken game now. I wanna play multiplayer but I wanna play it on my own terms.
I don't want to play this game with hardcore fucktards who will review tape after every match and know where to camp and where every single spawn location and obtuse hiding spot is. I don't want to play this game with people who shoot down the noob who has just picked up the controller after hearing endless hype and decided to give the game a whirl. I don't want to talk to the asshole who pads his score by endlessly killing the same person and using the defense of that 'he or she was in my way!' because you know how to use your radar and you are totally fucking aware of who everyone is. That shit works once or twice, but not everytime you see the person. Fucking cockfuckasscrackholesshitbitches.
I want to play with people who will fuck around and do Wraith Battles. I want to play with people who play the game for fun.
That's my credo for Halo 3 when I buy it, probably on Tuesday.
I'll probably buy it on launch day mainly because I have one class all day on Tuesday and my roommate is excited for Halo 3 and shares a similar philosophy on the game as I. So I'm going to power through Co-op with him and see how the world ends.
Not with a bang but a whimper.
P.S. If any of you readers out there share a similar philosophy on Halo 3 as I do. My totally uberrad bitchin' XBox Live Gamertag is Con Carnage.
I am currently ensnared by two entertainment vehicles that quote "The Hollow Men"
The first being Richard Kelly's finally-soon-to-be-released film, Southland Tales. Its weird and it stars the Rock and Stifler. Also, Kevin Smith is an old war vet.
Note: Richard Kelly made Donnie Darko. OMG EVREE1 FREEK OUT!
I personally was not all too impressed with Donnie Darko. I didn't know if you made a confusing movie you should get lauded for it. Whatever...Southland Tales seems to be just the right amount of peculiar to make it some mildly thought-provoking fun.
The second entertainment vehicles is the one, the supposed almighty. Teh Halo 3.
As the title says, I am weak. I'm at the point where I am probably going to buy this game at launch. I was in 'fuck it, I'll play Bond' camp until today.
Two things went down.
First, I played Goldeneye 64. Holy shit, that game is so fucking dated. I found myself wishing it was more like Halo. Its aiming is not precise and it is a game that has been hurt by age. Not saying I never want to play the game again, but its old'd. I took me 10 fucking years to finally acknowledge that Goldeneye is an old ass game.
Note: Perfect Dark, however, is still the pinnacle of gaming that all First Person Shooters should strive to be.
Double Note: Only Perfect Dark for the N64. Perfect Dark Zero, while an amusing launch game, is just your standard generic FPS with Joanna Dark in it.
Second, Steve Rock sent me a link to the most recent Video Documentary on Bungie.net about the multiplayer level editor and video recording. He sent me this link the preface of "This finally got me psyched for the game" and it did the same trick for me.
I am finally psyched for the game. Like, for realz.
I'll admit, I'm not that pumped. This is by no means the end-all be-all of video games for me. Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros Brawl and Rock Band still trump the game without even being released. Shit, even the crapfest that will probably be Guitar Hero III will trump Halo 3 in my book.
But I think I'm going to buy the stupid godforsaken game now. I wanna play multiplayer but I wanna play it on my own terms.
I don't want to play this game with hardcore fucktards who will review tape after every match and know where to camp and where every single spawn location and obtuse hiding spot is. I don't want to play this game with people who shoot down the noob who has just picked up the controller after hearing endless hype and decided to give the game a whirl. I don't want to talk to the asshole who pads his score by endlessly killing the same person and using the defense of that 'he or she was in my way!' because you know how to use your radar and you are totally fucking aware of who everyone is. That shit works once or twice, but not everytime you see the person. Fucking cockfuckasscrackholesshitbitches.
I want to play with people who will fuck around and do Wraith Battles. I want to play with people who play the game for fun.
That's my credo for Halo 3 when I buy it, probably on Tuesday.
I'll probably buy it on launch day mainly because I have one class all day on Tuesday and my roommate is excited for Halo 3 and shares a similar philosophy on the game as I. So I'm going to power through Co-op with him and see how the world ends.
Not with a bang but a whimper.
P.S. If any of you readers out there share a similar philosophy on Halo 3 as I do. My totally uberrad bitchin' XBox Live Gamertag is Con Carnage.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Shoot Him In The Head! You Don't Have Time To Make A Profile! SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD!
I'm going to preface by telling everyone just how insanely awesome the new DC Animated Movie, Superman Doomsday, is. While my view of the movie might be blinded by the awesome drinking game me and the boys accompanied it with, it was still the proverbial schiznit.
Anyway, see the damn movie. It's awesome.
On a related note (kind of...not really), I finally started watching Arrested Development and let me tell you, that show is damn good and everyone who sang its praises was completly right.
In some blog business news, I think this is how shit will be laid out. Monday is Review day. So that's when I'll continue doing the review crap I started this Monday. Wednesday and Thursday will be meaningless rant days with unspecified topics. Fridays might see action too.
I'm still plugging through Metroid Prime 3 and the game is still really solid. The high review score still stands the test of 2 days.
F-Zero is amazing. I'm really disapointed in the world that F-Zero gets the shaft and other racing games are more popular.
For all you Captain Falcon-loving sons of bitches out there, give F-Zero a chance!
In Video Game Tournament News, we are still currently on tap for a late December Video Game Quadrathlon II. It is with great glee that I reveal the next game for the upcoming 4 game tourney.
Game 1: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)
Game 2: F-Zero X (N64)
While I will not be revealing the final two games until time passes and I settle on exactly what games should be in, I will give you this following note about the last two games.
Brawl and F-Zero satisfy the Fighting and Racing pseudo-topics I have enacted. The remaining topics that were present in the first Quadrathlon (Shooting and Sports) are not gurranteed to be in the next one.
I will reveal that the final two games will come from any two of these categories: Shooting, Sports, Puzzle or Worms
But yea, this is getting boring, so I'm gonna peace out of here and await the pending Tokyo Game Show announcement about Kingdom Hearts and pray it's not going to be on PS3 because I really don't wanna have to buy that system.
Anyway, see the damn movie. It's awesome.
On a related note (kind of...not really), I finally started watching Arrested Development and let me tell you, that show is damn good and everyone who sang its praises was completly right.
In some blog business news, I think this is how shit will be laid out. Monday is Review day. So that's when I'll continue doing the review crap I started this Monday. Wednesday and Thursday will be meaningless rant days with unspecified topics. Fridays might see action too.
I'm still plugging through Metroid Prime 3 and the game is still really solid. The high review score still stands the test of 2 days.
F-Zero is amazing. I'm really disapointed in the world that F-Zero gets the shaft and other racing games are more popular.
For all you Captain Falcon-loving sons of bitches out there, give F-Zero a chance!
In Video Game Tournament News, we are still currently on tap for a late December Video Game Quadrathlon II. It is with great glee that I reveal the next game for the upcoming 4 game tourney.
Game 1: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)
Game 2: F-Zero X (N64)
While I will not be revealing the final two games until time passes and I settle on exactly what games should be in, I will give you this following note about the last two games.
Brawl and F-Zero satisfy the Fighting and Racing pseudo-topics I have enacted. The remaining topics that were present in the first Quadrathlon (Shooting and Sports) are not gurranteed to be in the next one.
I will reveal that the final two games will come from any two of these categories: Shooting, Sports, Puzzle or Worms
But yea, this is getting boring, so I'm gonna peace out of here and await the pending Tokyo Game Show announcement about Kingdom Hearts and pray it's not going to be on PS3 because I really don't wanna have to buy that system.
Monday, September 17, 2007
A Regular Hootenanny of Wii Reviews
As promised in my last post, here is the first in a series of console related mini-reviews to show some folks my taste in games.
Who the fuck am I kidding. My readership is Joe and Billy and they've known me for a combined 20 years.
Whatever, I'm bored.
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (Wii) - 9.5/10
See last post for review.
Madden NFL 08 (Wii) - 7/10
Whacked out controls, regressing graphics...but its still Madden and the multiplayer crap is fun.
Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition (Wii) - 9/10
A perfect port of a near-perfect game.
Super Paper Mario (Wii) - 8.5/10
Fun, nostalgic platforming fun that oozes charm and humor.
Mario Strikers Charged (Wii) - 9.25/10
Zaniest soccer game ever that's only knock is its ridiculous difficulty.
Elebits (Wii) - 7.5/10
The best launch window FPS on the Wii and you shoot little electric things with a fucking toy gun. Way to shit the bed, Ubisoft. Thats what Far Cry and Red Steel got beat by you dumb fucks. I know this breaks the self-imposed one sentence rule but I don't give two shits. Ubisoft is fucking dumb. I can't believe I bought Red Steel....
Fuckin' A!
Just for that...
Red Steel (Wii) - 0/10
Review that might ruin what little respectability I have but whatever, the game only deserves acclaim for setting down suspect groundwork for future Wii FPS' to vastly improve on. Multi-player was fleetingly fun and Krasucki had a decent time with it. Other than that I think more than people performed Harry Carey than actually bothered to control the stupid sword battles. Warioware had one to one sword battles. FUCKING WARIOWARE!!!
Fuckin' A!
Just for that...
Warioware: Smooth Moves (Wii) - 9.5/10
Best multiplayer Wii game yet.
The BIGs (Wii) - 7/10
Lays down solid groundwork for future baseball titles but regardless of controls, the game is weak depthwise and MLB Power Pros should top it.
Mario Party 8 (Wii) - 7/10
While a little on the stale side, the game still brings forth some unique game boards and a solid Wii multiplayer experience with a lot of jerking-off games.
Spider-Man 3 (Wii) - 4.5/10
Betrayal. Deception. Crap. No, these aren't describing the themes of the movie, thats pretty much how the game was. Friend or Foe better kick its ass and I think as long as Friend or Foe is fun, it'll be good.
Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii) - 7/10
This Arabian Nights themed game would've been better if it played like Aladdin for the Genesis instead of Sonic R.
Excite Truck (Wii) - 7.5/10
Mainly gets the knock because it is only 2 player. Would be totally awesome if there was a track editor and 4 player support. Excite Truck 2: Electric Boogaloo would probably rock worlds if this was implemented.
Wii Play (Wii) - 7/10
A bunch of simplistic stupid mini-games that squeaks out an average rating because of Tanks, "Duck Hunt" and the Cow Race.
Wii Sports (Wii) - 8/10
Its the most accesible game for Wii and has almost endless replay value.
Rampage: Total Destruction (Wii) - Big Freaking Monsters/10
It's Rampage in 3D with a lot of unlockable creatures. You all know the drill.
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii) - 9.5/10
The perfect version of this specific style of Zelda. Let's hope the series evolves but until then it shouldn't be so bad.
Rayman Raving Rabbids (Wii) - 7.5/10
Would be one of the best games on Wii if the multiplayer wasn't so dreadful.
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (Wii) - 7.5/10
The gesture controls aren't neccesarily bad and the game is solid no matter how the controls are.
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2 (Wii) - 8/10
Suprisingly good fighting game that shows how 3D fighting games should be done on Wii. Take notes, Mortal Kombat.
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz (Wii) - Failed Potential/10
Fuck Amusement Visions for creating one of the greatest multiplayer games of all time and then allowing it to be repeatedly shit on. Also, thanks for fucking up Monkey Target, asshats.
There. Argue with me if you want. These scores are up debate because I didn't put too much thought into them. Expect second opinions and the like as the Wii continues to grow.
Who the fuck am I kidding. My readership is Joe and Billy and they've known me for a combined 20 years.
Whatever, I'm bored.
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (Wii) - 9.5/10
See last post for review.
Madden NFL 08 (Wii) - 7/10
Whacked out controls, regressing graphics...but its still Madden and the multiplayer crap is fun.
Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition (Wii) - 9/10
A perfect port of a near-perfect game.
Super Paper Mario (Wii) - 8.5/10
Fun, nostalgic platforming fun that oozes charm and humor.
Mario Strikers Charged (Wii) - 9.25/10
Zaniest soccer game ever that's only knock is its ridiculous difficulty.
Elebits (Wii) - 7.5/10
The best launch window FPS on the Wii and you shoot little electric things with a fucking toy gun. Way to shit the bed, Ubisoft. Thats what Far Cry and Red Steel got beat by you dumb fucks. I know this breaks the self-imposed one sentence rule but I don't give two shits. Ubisoft is fucking dumb. I can't believe I bought Red Steel....
Fuckin' A!
Just for that...
Red Steel (Wii) - 0/10
Review that might ruin what little respectability I have but whatever, the game only deserves acclaim for setting down suspect groundwork for future Wii FPS' to vastly improve on. Multi-player was fleetingly fun and Krasucki had a decent time with it. Other than that I think more than people performed Harry Carey than actually bothered to control the stupid sword battles. Warioware had one to one sword battles. FUCKING WARIOWARE!!!
Fuckin' A!
Just for that...
Warioware: Smooth Moves (Wii) - 9.5/10
Best multiplayer Wii game yet.
The BIGs (Wii) - 7/10
Lays down solid groundwork for future baseball titles but regardless of controls, the game is weak depthwise and MLB Power Pros should top it.
Mario Party 8 (Wii) - 7/10
While a little on the stale side, the game still brings forth some unique game boards and a solid Wii multiplayer experience with a lot of jerking-off games.
Spider-Man 3 (Wii) - 4.5/10
Betrayal. Deception. Crap. No, these aren't describing the themes of the movie, thats pretty much how the game was. Friend or Foe better kick its ass and I think as long as Friend or Foe is fun, it'll be good.
Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii) - 7/10
This Arabian Nights themed game would've been better if it played like Aladdin for the Genesis instead of Sonic R.
Excite Truck (Wii) - 7.5/10
Mainly gets the knock because it is only 2 player. Would be totally awesome if there was a track editor and 4 player support. Excite Truck 2: Electric Boogaloo would probably rock worlds if this was implemented.
Wii Play (Wii) - 7/10
A bunch of simplistic stupid mini-games that squeaks out an average rating because of Tanks, "Duck Hunt" and the Cow Race.
Wii Sports (Wii) - 8/10
Its the most accesible game for Wii and has almost endless replay value.
Rampage: Total Destruction (Wii) - Big Freaking Monsters/10
It's Rampage in 3D with a lot of unlockable creatures. You all know the drill.
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Wii) - 9.5/10
The perfect version of this specific style of Zelda. Let's hope the series evolves but until then it shouldn't be so bad.
Rayman Raving Rabbids (Wii) - 7.5/10
Would be one of the best games on Wii if the multiplayer wasn't so dreadful.
Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (Wii) - 7.5/10
The gesture controls aren't neccesarily bad and the game is solid no matter how the controls are.
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2 (Wii) - 8/10
Suprisingly good fighting game that shows how 3D fighting games should be done on Wii. Take notes, Mortal Kombat.
Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz (Wii) - Failed Potential/10
Fuck Amusement Visions for creating one of the greatest multiplayer games of all time and then allowing it to be repeatedly shit on. Also, thanks for fucking up Monkey Target, asshats.
There. Argue with me if you want. These scores are up debate because I didn't put too much thought into them. Expect second opinions and the like as the Wii continues to grow.
An Impromptu Review of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Let me preface this review by stating some sembalance of scale that I will use for these impromptu reviews. I'll rate games out of 10 with average being 7. To give you a sense of my game tastes, I'll do some list of mini-reviews in a later post.
There's a certain point in a game where it grabs you and you're just all like 'well piss, I guess I have to finish you before I delve into any other venture.'
Metroid Prime 3 has reached that point.
Suprisingly so, because Bioshock reached that point a mere two weeks prior, but then I moved into college and the momentum was disrupted.
MPrimeWii (as it could be hiply abbreviated) is a very pretty game. Not pretty in a 'OMGlolz the graphix are all realistic!' but pretty in a very sweet solid way. While the graphics don't stun, they get the job done and they do it well. Right off the bat you can notice the polish that the game has. It doesn't have to attention to detail that games such as Bioshock have, but it has that Metroid way of doing things. By Metroid way, I mean Super Metroid/Metroid Prime 1, not Prime 2. Prime 2 was a bunch of butt.
Butt yea, very solid and pretty graphics. Good sense of mood and tone. If there is one thing Retro Studios nailed in the 3D revamp of Metroid, it was the mood and tone that Super Metroid perfected. I am currently in the patented spooky dilapidated spaceship scene and its the usual 'Oh shit, a big freaking Metroid is going to pop out at any second' horror movie mentality that usually happens around halfway through any Metroid game. Usually the big Metroid never comes until later, but it is still creepy as shit.
The big new thing with the new game has definitly been the controls. While I did not waste my time with the bounding box ridden lesser control schemes, I can say that the Advanced control scheme is quite joyous. It controls like a dream and sets the standard that all Wii FPS games should strive for. While there is an apparent learning curve, the game controls well and the farther you progress in the game the more you get used to the new method of controlling.
I have read a few reviews where people complain about some peculiar button placement on the Wii Remote (ex. the missiles are down on the D-Pad...Pausing is the 1 button) but I've racked my brain on alternate control schemes and for the context of the game, the controls are perfect after a little getting used to.
The actual game has been very good although a little too linear for Metroid standards. Part of me doesn't mind the little bit of linearity but I can understand why some hardcore fans would be disgusted. Although I'm noticing a more exploratory approach in the early beginings of the second half of the game. The added functionality of the ship has been cool but very underdeveloped. I did enjoy the moment when I accidentally used my ship's missiles in an open area and blew the fuck out of some Lizalfos (I forget the name, but they ain't Space Pirates and they're Lizardmen...thus, it must be a Zelda reference).
The boss battles have been rather spectacular thus far and I anticipate them only getting better the closer I get to endgame. The majority of them are huge and have patterns that take more time to figure out than the average boss. Some highlights include a midair duel with Ridley, a battle with a ball-craving war golem and a slippery fight with a plasma beam wielding corrupted being (Not Dark Samus).
The powerups have been standard Metroid fare but I just recently got the Screw Attack and its as cool as ever as it was in Metroid Prime 2. Probably one of the few good things to come out of Prime 2.
The voice acting and story that have been going on in the game has been standard fare but it definitly suits the space nature of the series and I welcome the appearance of story in Metroid games with wide open arms. It is about freaking time Nintendo put solid voice acting in a game not about a Fox.
I think that about concludes this inaugural review. I hope it didn't suck too bad and it was good for you and good for me...ya know, just like sex.
Final Score: 9.5/10
Final Very Long Summary Sentence: A very good single player experience with such wonderful new features like Wii controls and voice acting that has very few drawbacks.
My Opinion on Other Metroid Games
Metroid (NES) - 6/10
Super Metroid (SNES) - 10/10
Metroid Prime (GCN) - 8.5/10
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (GCN) - 7/10
Metroid Prime Pinball (DS) - 7.5/10
There's a certain point in a game where it grabs you and you're just all like 'well piss, I guess I have to finish you before I delve into any other venture.'
Metroid Prime 3 has reached that point.
Suprisingly so, because Bioshock reached that point a mere two weeks prior, but then I moved into college and the momentum was disrupted.
MPrimeWii (as it could be hiply abbreviated) is a very pretty game. Not pretty in a 'OMGlolz the graphix are all realistic!' but pretty in a very sweet solid way. While the graphics don't stun, they get the job done and they do it well. Right off the bat you can notice the polish that the game has. It doesn't have to attention to detail that games such as Bioshock have, but it has that Metroid way of doing things. By Metroid way, I mean Super Metroid/Metroid Prime 1, not Prime 2. Prime 2 was a bunch of butt.
Butt yea, very solid and pretty graphics. Good sense of mood and tone. If there is one thing Retro Studios nailed in the 3D revamp of Metroid, it was the mood and tone that Super Metroid perfected. I am currently in the patented spooky dilapidated spaceship scene and its the usual 'Oh shit, a big freaking Metroid is going to pop out at any second' horror movie mentality that usually happens around halfway through any Metroid game. Usually the big Metroid never comes until later, but it is still creepy as shit.
The big new thing with the new game has definitly been the controls. While I did not waste my time with the bounding box ridden lesser control schemes, I can say that the Advanced control scheme is quite joyous. It controls like a dream and sets the standard that all Wii FPS games should strive for. While there is an apparent learning curve, the game controls well and the farther you progress in the game the more you get used to the new method of controlling.
I have read a few reviews where people complain about some peculiar button placement on the Wii Remote (ex. the missiles are down on the D-Pad...Pausing is the 1 button) but I've racked my brain on alternate control schemes and for the context of the game, the controls are perfect after a little getting used to.
The actual game has been very good although a little too linear for Metroid standards. Part of me doesn't mind the little bit of linearity but I can understand why some hardcore fans would be disgusted. Although I'm noticing a more exploratory approach in the early beginings of the second half of the game. The added functionality of the ship has been cool but very underdeveloped. I did enjoy the moment when I accidentally used my ship's missiles in an open area and blew the fuck out of some Lizalfos (I forget the name, but they ain't Space Pirates and they're Lizardmen...thus, it must be a Zelda reference).
The boss battles have been rather spectacular thus far and I anticipate them only getting better the closer I get to endgame. The majority of them are huge and have patterns that take more time to figure out than the average boss. Some highlights include a midair duel with Ridley, a battle with a ball-craving war golem and a slippery fight with a plasma beam wielding corrupted being (Not Dark Samus).
The powerups have been standard Metroid fare but I just recently got the Screw Attack and its as cool as ever as it was in Metroid Prime 2. Probably one of the few good things to come out of Prime 2.
The voice acting and story that have been going on in the game has been standard fare but it definitly suits the space nature of the series and I welcome the appearance of story in Metroid games with wide open arms. It is about freaking time Nintendo put solid voice acting in a game not about a Fox.
I think that about concludes this inaugural review. I hope it didn't suck too bad and it was good for you and good for me...ya know, just like sex.
Final Score: 9.5/10
Final Very Long Summary Sentence: A very good single player experience with such wonderful new features like Wii controls and voice acting that has very few drawbacks.
My Opinion on Other Metroid Games
Metroid (NES) - 6/10
Super Metroid (SNES) - 10/10
Metroid Prime (GCN) - 8.5/10
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (GCN) - 7/10
Metroid Prime Pinball (DS) - 7.5/10
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Our Hero! F-Zero! and melee, mprime, zelda, bioshock and more
F-Zero is awesome. 'Nuff Said.
I've been in embroiled in a Super Smash Bros. Melee wiki read where I learned of shffl-ing and wave-dashing.
Whatever, I don't want to learn that stuff or else then Melee would lose its fun.
Brawl will still own my face. I can't wait. It kinda sucks that I'm going to fail this semester after putting in effort for 3 months.
I probably won't be in any classes from November 20th to Mid-December.
Metroid Prime 3 is still alluring and harkens back to the mystique that Metroid Prime had when I first got it. The mystique that Metroid Prime 2 had for about two minutes before the stupid fucking alien thing was like 'Save usssssss!' and I was all like 'Hell no' but Samus is mute so I couldn't verbalize my thoughts.
I mean, I know the Aurora Units are probably evil because of the corruption and the Mother Brain comparisons, but that doesn't stop me from being in love with this game.
While the boss battles run rather long sometimes, its an epic adventure in itself figuring out how best to kill these giant intimidating creatures. It's a challenge as well. Something that Twilight Princess lacked.
Don't get me wrong, Twilight Princess was what I wanted in a Zelda game, but the game was pretty damn easy and I think Nintendo needs to make what they want in a Zelda game and not what the fans want.
We currently have one good example of this and one bad example.
Good Example: Phantom Hourglass for the DS.
The more I read about this game the more I'm hooked. All Stylus Control that's been subject to rave reviews over in Japan? Awesome. Many dungeons and a direct sequel to Wind Waker? Cool. Some weird dude who graces the cover and gives you your boat? Umm...ok.
Bad Example: Link's Crossbow Training for the Wii
Most of my fan base (please tell me you exist) probably has not heard of this unless they've heard it from me, but Link's Crossbow Training is a cheap game that is coming packaged with the Wii Zapper (aka The Wii Tommy Gun). It apparently is going to be about Link and how he gets his new crossbow and is like "let's shoot some shit." I remain optimistic because this is how I am with Nintendo and other companies that I cautiously trust (Marvel, Sega...actually, no. Sega has lost my trust when they made the new Monkey Ball game) but this Crossbow Training game shouldn't be here. It should be Duck Hunt.
Duck Hunt would sell boatloads and I don't get why Nintendo doesn't just fucking remake Duck Hunt, warts and all, and release it on Virtual Console or as a $20 game.
Whatever, they're making more money than I can fathom. We'll see if they can actually market themselves out of a paper bag.
Bioshock is still wonderful but I'm noticing a kind of inherent fault in this game. Once you reach a certain point, there's not much new shit to do. I'm relatively sure I have access to almost all of the Plasmids and Weapons and I'm about 2/3 through the game (I think, I'm in Fort Frolic.)
I love this game. Still one of the best games I've played in a long time, but after the "holy shit I'm electrocuting things and beating them with wrenches" glee wears off, you're left with a very sound game that looks pretty. Not as ground-breaking as the world is telling you.
Still a lot of fun and everyone should see it in action.
It's also incredibly fucked up. There was an audio log about this demented artist ripping off bunny ears.
Speaking of incredibly fucked up games, I think Manhunt 2 might take the cake.
I'm still up in the air about buying it, but I figure I'd share this tidbit I read today. Apparently you decapitate a guy and then take his head and use it to get into a door and then the guy who opens it expects to see his friend and then freaks out.
Also, apparently a death scene that was cut out to make it rated Mature instead of Adults Only was using pliers or something to crack some dude's nuts.
Yea, pretty fucked up.
Mull that one over.
Laterz.
I've been in embroiled in a Super Smash Bros. Melee wiki read where I learned of shffl-ing and wave-dashing.
Whatever, I don't want to learn that stuff or else then Melee would lose its fun.
Brawl will still own my face. I can't wait. It kinda sucks that I'm going to fail this semester after putting in effort for 3 months.
I probably won't be in any classes from November 20th to Mid-December.
Metroid Prime 3 is still alluring and harkens back to the mystique that Metroid Prime had when I first got it. The mystique that Metroid Prime 2 had for about two minutes before the stupid fucking alien thing was like 'Save usssssss!' and I was all like 'Hell no' but Samus is mute so I couldn't verbalize my thoughts.
I mean, I know the Aurora Units are probably evil because of the corruption and the Mother Brain comparisons, but that doesn't stop me from being in love with this game.
While the boss battles run rather long sometimes, its an epic adventure in itself figuring out how best to kill these giant intimidating creatures. It's a challenge as well. Something that Twilight Princess lacked.
Don't get me wrong, Twilight Princess was what I wanted in a Zelda game, but the game was pretty damn easy and I think Nintendo needs to make what they want in a Zelda game and not what the fans want.
We currently have one good example of this and one bad example.
Good Example: Phantom Hourglass for the DS.
The more I read about this game the more I'm hooked. All Stylus Control that's been subject to rave reviews over in Japan? Awesome. Many dungeons and a direct sequel to Wind Waker? Cool. Some weird dude who graces the cover and gives you your boat? Umm...ok.
Bad Example: Link's Crossbow Training for the Wii
Most of my fan base (please tell me you exist) probably has not heard of this unless they've heard it from me, but Link's Crossbow Training is a cheap game that is coming packaged with the Wii Zapper (aka The Wii Tommy Gun). It apparently is going to be about Link and how he gets his new crossbow and is like "let's shoot some shit." I remain optimistic because this is how I am with Nintendo and other companies that I cautiously trust (Marvel, Sega...actually, no. Sega has lost my trust when they made the new Monkey Ball game) but this Crossbow Training game shouldn't be here. It should be Duck Hunt.
Duck Hunt would sell boatloads and I don't get why Nintendo doesn't just fucking remake Duck Hunt, warts and all, and release it on Virtual Console or as a $20 game.
Whatever, they're making more money than I can fathom. We'll see if they can actually market themselves out of a paper bag.
Bioshock is still wonderful but I'm noticing a kind of inherent fault in this game. Once you reach a certain point, there's not much new shit to do. I'm relatively sure I have access to almost all of the Plasmids and Weapons and I'm about 2/3 through the game (I think, I'm in Fort Frolic.)
I love this game. Still one of the best games I've played in a long time, but after the "holy shit I'm electrocuting things and beating them with wrenches" glee wears off, you're left with a very sound game that looks pretty. Not as ground-breaking as the world is telling you.
Still a lot of fun and everyone should see it in action.
It's also incredibly fucked up. There was an audio log about this demented artist ripping off bunny ears.
Speaking of incredibly fucked up games, I think Manhunt 2 might take the cake.
I'm still up in the air about buying it, but I figure I'd share this tidbit I read today. Apparently you decapitate a guy and then take his head and use it to get into a door and then the guy who opens it expects to see his friend and then freaks out.
Also, apparently a death scene that was cut out to make it rated Mature instead of Adults Only was using pliers or something to crack some dude's nuts.
Yea, pretty fucked up.
Mull that one over.
Laterz.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Halo 3 and My Purchasing Decision.
I've currently become embroiled in the web browser game Sproing. It is fun. You basically just drag a ball around a screen and build momentum and hit green balls while not hitting ones of color. Its high class.
I've been dwelling on Halo 3 for a while. Whether or not to get it. Do I truly care? Do Spartans actually hold my interest? Is Master Chief anything more than one bad-ass line to me? (That bad-ass line is, of course, "I need a weapon." I've gotten into the habit of throwing that line at people when I, well, need a weapon.)
My ultimate answer is "I don't give two flying fucks about finishing the fight." Master Chief and his gang-banging group of Arbiters can go fuck themselves because I don't care about the story. I didn't care in Halo, I cared for five minutes in Halo 2 and I still don't care about it in Halo 3. I understand people enjoy the story and apparently it is sci-fi gold (blasphemy in my opinion. Sci-Fi gold to me is BSG and Firefly. So, I guess I enjoy real characters and solid interaction and development as opposed to bullshit about 3 warring races worried about ancient rings. I've played too many Sonic games to learn that rings can old fast. I don't give a shit if you rename it, a Halo is still a ring. And I'm still waiting for Master Chief's Cooking Mama turn since if you drop the I, he is Master Chef.
For people against the wall of text, my final answer is a solid maybe on my purchase of the game. Multiplayer is the only thing that allures me and I might just bring my N64 and Goldeneye and PDark and binge on FPSes with that.
If anyone in my dorm who cares about Halo reads this, you've got a lot of convincing to do because I think I'd much rather purchase Dewy's Adventure and the Didder game for Wii than buy Halo 3. Also, LoZ: Phantom Hourglass comes out the next week and stylus controlled Link trumps "same old shit" Spartans.
And speaking of the present, I still have a handful of games to beat.
That list consists of:
1) Bioshock - I'm about halfway through, maybe more. That might be the next game I beat. When I finish it I'll go on a spoiler-laden rant about it.
2) Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - I'm only like 2-3 hours into this, but I've loved every second and can't wait for a long period of time with it.
3) Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition - It's been so long since I picked this up that I might just restart, but if I don't, I think I've got like 5-6 hours logged and I imagine I'm damn near halfway through the game
4) Dead Rising - Really only bought this because I got it cheap. I'll play it when there's a lull...so like in two years.
If I finish all these games, maybe there is a better chance of Halo 3 in my future, but I don't know. I'd rather just play Rock Band and Brawl forever when they come out.
Note: I am totally planning on buying more Halo 3 Game Fuel because the concept is ridiculous and it makes me laugh. The Halo 3 Advertising Campaign is probably one of the funniest ones I've ever seen.
I've been dwelling on Halo 3 for a while. Whether or not to get it. Do I truly care? Do Spartans actually hold my interest? Is Master Chief anything more than one bad-ass line to me? (That bad-ass line is, of course, "I need a weapon." I've gotten into the habit of throwing that line at people when I, well, need a weapon.)
My ultimate answer is "I don't give two flying fucks about finishing the fight." Master Chief and his gang-banging group of Arbiters can go fuck themselves because I don't care about the story. I didn't care in Halo, I cared for five minutes in Halo 2 and I still don't care about it in Halo 3. I understand people enjoy the story and apparently it is sci-fi gold (blasphemy in my opinion. Sci-Fi gold to me is BSG and Firefly. So, I guess I enjoy real characters and solid interaction and development as opposed to bullshit about 3 warring races worried about ancient rings. I've played too many Sonic games to learn that rings can old fast. I don't give a shit if you rename it, a Halo is still a ring. And I'm still waiting for Master Chief's Cooking Mama turn since if you drop the I, he is Master Chef.
For people against the wall of text, my final answer is a solid maybe on my purchase of the game. Multiplayer is the only thing that allures me and I might just bring my N64 and Goldeneye and PDark and binge on FPSes with that.
If anyone in my dorm who cares about Halo reads this, you've got a lot of convincing to do because I think I'd much rather purchase Dewy's Adventure and the Didder game for Wii than buy Halo 3. Also, LoZ: Phantom Hourglass comes out the next week and stylus controlled Link trumps "same old shit" Spartans.
And speaking of the present, I still have a handful of games to beat.
That list consists of:
1) Bioshock - I'm about halfway through, maybe more. That might be the next game I beat. When I finish it I'll go on a spoiler-laden rant about it.
2) Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - I'm only like 2-3 hours into this, but I've loved every second and can't wait for a long period of time with it.
3) Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition - It's been so long since I picked this up that I might just restart, but if I don't, I think I've got like 5-6 hours logged and I imagine I'm damn near halfway through the game
4) Dead Rising - Really only bought this because I got it cheap. I'll play it when there's a lull...so like in two years.
If I finish all these games, maybe there is a better chance of Halo 3 in my future, but I don't know. I'd rather just play Rock Band and Brawl forever when they come out.
Note: I am totally planning on buying more Halo 3 Game Fuel because the concept is ridiculous and it makes me laugh. The Halo 3 Advertising Campaign is probably one of the funniest ones I've ever seen.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
College: Classes and Video Games
So my schedule is dictating something. I will be gurranteed to be writing in this bitch on Monday and Thursday nights. So all you waiting with the bated breath get at least 2 blog posts per week.
Today's topic: College: Classes and Video Games
My classes are pretty flipping sweet. 60% of my Professors have beards. That's always a good ratio. Also, I've got on Canadien and a few of my Professors have totally smoked the reefer. Being a English/Philosophy student, that's what I look for in teachers.
Beards, nationality and pot smoking.
But seriously, show me an English or Philosophy Professor who hasn't smoked pot and I'll show you my Creative Writing teacher, who makes up for whatever English or Philosophy Prof hasn't smoked.
He pulled a wonderful switcheroo on the class. He seemed all legitimate with a little hint of intrigue. Than, about a half hour in the class, he drops an f bomb. Then explains his life.
He almost flunked high school because he smoked too much pot, then he joined the army and ran illegal gambling and candy rings and lasted 10 weeks before he got the fuck out of there. He started snorting coke after that and that was followed by bouncing around rehabs until he followed the Grateful Dead around the world and wound up in Seattle where he worked for Starbucks Corporate and opened Starbucks. His sister died and he went back to college and became a writer/professor.
That class should rock my face off.
My Methods of Literary Analysis professor doesn't have the same colorful background that my CW guy does, but he reminds me of Woody Allen with an influx of Monty Python and the Simpsons. Cool beans.
My Existentialism professor is pretty much Lewis Black. I wish I taped his rant today. I think what can sum this up is this dialogue:
Student: What books are we going to read?
Professor: What am I, a fucking prophet?
My Gym teacher is Canadien.
My Sci-Fi teacher was talking Sandman with me, so I respect that. We're also reading Harry Potter, Neverwhere and the Golden Compass.
So there goes the boring shit.
My assessment of the semester? I'm getting straight A's. Not because of easiness but because straight A's would be dope as hell.
Onward to the second part of my self-imposed topic which I'm surmising will be a short essay on my view of video games in college.
My one and only beef with the beginning of this college year.
Too many fucking people wanna play video games and I don't have enough free time. I've been meaning to just binge on Bioshock and Metroid Prime 3 but NOOOOO everyone's all socialable and like 'Let's play Halo and Melee and Guitar Hero!'
(Note: If anyone on my floor reads this, my moaning is a little bit of the whiny 3rd grade bitch variety. I don't mind playing Halo or Melee or GH. I actually enjoy it a lot.)
But as I've played Halo for the first time in at least a year, I must say my original impression of the game stands. It is an underwhelming first person shooter that is only bettered by familiarity. Basically, it's Goldeneye. Not a bad thing by any means, but still.
Anyway, Melee is still the greatest multiplayer game ever invented by the Japanese. Brawl should be the only thing that rivals it...that and Rock Band.
Christ will come twice this year. In two different forms: Rock Band and Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Guitar Hero is pimp.
Transmission.End.
Today's topic: College: Classes and Video Games
My classes are pretty flipping sweet. 60% of my Professors have beards. That's always a good ratio. Also, I've got on Canadien and a few of my Professors have totally smoked the reefer. Being a English/Philosophy student, that's what I look for in teachers.
Beards, nationality and pot smoking.
But seriously, show me an English or Philosophy Professor who hasn't smoked pot and I'll show you my Creative Writing teacher, who makes up for whatever English or Philosophy Prof hasn't smoked.
He pulled a wonderful switcheroo on the class. He seemed all legitimate with a little hint of intrigue. Than, about a half hour in the class, he drops an f bomb. Then explains his life.
He almost flunked high school because he smoked too much pot, then he joined the army and ran illegal gambling and candy rings and lasted 10 weeks before he got the fuck out of there. He started snorting coke after that and that was followed by bouncing around rehabs until he followed the Grateful Dead around the world and wound up in Seattle where he worked for Starbucks Corporate and opened Starbucks. His sister died and he went back to college and became a writer/professor.
That class should rock my face off.
My Methods of Literary Analysis professor doesn't have the same colorful background that my CW guy does, but he reminds me of Woody Allen with an influx of Monty Python and the Simpsons. Cool beans.
My Existentialism professor is pretty much Lewis Black. I wish I taped his rant today. I think what can sum this up is this dialogue:
Student: What books are we going to read?
Professor: What am I, a fucking prophet?
My Gym teacher is Canadien.
My Sci-Fi teacher was talking Sandman with me, so I respect that. We're also reading Harry Potter, Neverwhere and the Golden Compass.
So there goes the boring shit.
My assessment of the semester? I'm getting straight A's. Not because of easiness but because straight A's would be dope as hell.
Onward to the second part of my self-imposed topic which I'm surmising will be a short essay on my view of video games in college.
My one and only beef with the beginning of this college year.
Too many fucking people wanna play video games and I don't have enough free time. I've been meaning to just binge on Bioshock and Metroid Prime 3 but NOOOOO everyone's all socialable and like 'Let's play Halo and Melee and Guitar Hero!'
(Note: If anyone on my floor reads this, my moaning is a little bit of the whiny 3rd grade bitch variety. I don't mind playing Halo or Melee or GH. I actually enjoy it a lot.)
But as I've played Halo for the first time in at least a year, I must say my original impression of the game stands. It is an underwhelming first person shooter that is only bettered by familiarity. Basically, it's Goldeneye. Not a bad thing by any means, but still.
Anyway, Melee is still the greatest multiplayer game ever invented by the Japanese. Brawl should be the only thing that rivals it...that and Rock Band.
Christ will come twice this year. In two different forms: Rock Band and Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Guitar Hero is pimp.
Transmission.End.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Toad Is A Huge Asshole: A Dissection of Mario Party 8
So I played a round of Mario Party 8 with Lauren and my roommate tonight and once again, I wonder why people bitch so much about how terrible that game is supposed to be.
In all honest, the fucking game is a lot of fun. I think people to step back and realize that Mario Party is not this legendary masterful game that our child-like nostalgia holds it be.
Mario Party has always been boring and cheap as shit.
People just fantasize Mario Party 8 being epic and legendary like all the other Mario Parties in their childhood. Did anyone play Mario Parties for Cube? ITS THE SAME CRAP IT WAS IN THE BEGINNING! Who cares if it was fresh then. It was still boring. My pre-pubescent self could still barely sit through one game.
The Wii breathes life into Mario Party 8, placing it 4th on the list of best Wii multiplayer titles (thus far). For anyone that cares, the top 3 spots, in my opinion, are Wii Sports, WarioWare and Mario Strikers Charged. Shit, if anyone wants to contest my view, go for it. I relish controversy.
But whatever, right now I'm bitter that Toad beat all three of us because the little fucktart stole my star and then won a bonus star from walking the most. He's fucking midget Toad, of course he's going to walk the most, he's got little baby legs. Lauren was Boo. Boo doesn't even fucking walk. Just tell me how that star isn't a rip-off.
However, it felt strangely satisfying to whip out two Duelo candies on Toad at the end and whip his bitch ass and steal all his coins.
I fucking hate Toad.
Princess is in another castle? Fuck you, Toad. Go sacrifice yourself for your goddamn Princess you miserable asscrack.
Whatever, I'll still play as you in MKart 64...
In all honest, the fucking game is a lot of fun. I think people to step back and realize that Mario Party is not this legendary masterful game that our child-like nostalgia holds it be.
Mario Party has always been boring and cheap as shit.
People just fantasize Mario Party 8 being epic and legendary like all the other Mario Parties in their childhood. Did anyone play Mario Parties for Cube? ITS THE SAME CRAP IT WAS IN THE BEGINNING! Who cares if it was fresh then. It was still boring. My pre-pubescent self could still barely sit through one game.
The Wii breathes life into Mario Party 8, placing it 4th on the list of best Wii multiplayer titles (thus far). For anyone that cares, the top 3 spots, in my opinion, are Wii Sports, WarioWare and Mario Strikers Charged. Shit, if anyone wants to contest my view, go for it. I relish controversy.
But whatever, right now I'm bitter that Toad beat all three of us because the little fucktart stole my star and then won a bonus star from walking the most. He's fucking midget Toad, of course he's going to walk the most, he's got little baby legs. Lauren was Boo. Boo doesn't even fucking walk. Just tell me how that star isn't a rip-off.
However, it felt strangely satisfying to whip out two Duelo candies on Toad at the end and whip his bitch ass and steal all his coins.
I fucking hate Toad.
Princess is in another castle? Fuck you, Toad. Go sacrifice yourself for your goddamn Princess you miserable asscrack.
Whatever, I'll still play as you in MKart 64...
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